The Center of the Universe

Last month, The Boy and I went to NYC for his brother's engagement party.

It was pretty cool.

The Boy's brother works for some sort of real estate hedge fund thing (I'm still not sure what he does, exactly, but it involves buying malls and office buildings and stuff), and his fiance is a lawyer. They have this really cute apartment (with an actual bedroom with a door that closes!) in the West Village (which is not the same thing as being on the West side of Greenwich Village) and lead such fabulous (albeit, busy) lives and I must admit I was more than a little jealous/insecure hanging out with them and their friends. They have such cute clothes and do such glamorous things and eat at such wonderful restaurants and, well, I am poor and live in the city (town?) that I live in, and let me just say, it isn't glamorous, even a little bit.

While we were there, we stayed in SoHo (it means South of Houston St, which I had never known before), which meant we did a lot of shopping  looking at things that we couldn't afford, like the cute D&G cocktail dress I found at some sort of Last Chance store for $300, or the Italian shirt the boy tried on for $100. It was nice, don't get me wrong, but it was a button down. Not exactly worth it, in my opinion, but it was fun to browse, minus the parts where I was dismayed at how poor I'm going to be for years and years to come. I told my dad this, and he was like, "No, that's like thinking you're fat when you're pregnant. You're not fat when you're pregnant, you're just pregnant! And you're not poor now, you're just a student!" I don't think he's quite right there, but whatevs.

We went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art where we saw some pretty cool stuff. The boy and I quite enjoy going to museums. It makes us feel cultured. There is one downside... he really likes modern art and I really, really hate it. I think it's really ugly, and have some sort of visceral, disgusted reaction to the celebration of random squiggles. I was able to convince him that we could go to MoMA on a different trip to NYC... unfortunately, I'm pretty sure he's going to hold me to it. After the museum we wandered through Central Park (it's huge!) and I was disappointed to learn that Central Perk is not a real place.

We also ate some amazing, amazing food. The night we got in, we went to this Italian place that was near their apartment, and everything was SOOOOOOOO good. So delicious. Like heaven in my mouth. We also got the requisite bagels (delicious) and pizza (delicious), and the best tacos I've had in America from this taco truck. I really wish I could remember the name--I think it was "[Some Neighborhood (I think it was the one South of SoHo)] Taco Truck. Super delicious. We also ate breakfast across the street from our hotel in a very Seinfeld-esque diner that was fast, cheap, and also, pretty delicious.

We also got to see a show off-Broadway, which was pretty exciting. We went to a discount box office called TKTS, which sells tickets to Broadway and off-Broadway shows for 30-70% off face value. We had several options, but the available Broadway shows were all things we were unfamiliar with, and since tickets were $90-100 a piece (that's half off!) we decided to see Newsical, which we were told was "Fucking Hilarious" and "a million times better than Avenue Q" (which was the off-Broadway show that we were planning on picking if the Broadway stuff didn't work out). One of the reviews said it was basically The Daily Show set to music, which it was. It was pretty funny, but not "fucking hilarious" or "a million times funnier than Avenue Q". I still enjoyed myself, though. Next time we go, we'll need to see a show on Broadway, though.

It was a really great trip, and I'm glad we went. I really like the amount of traveling that The Boy and I get to do together. It's nice to make all these memories and have all of these adventures.

Bucket Listing

I know that I have repeatedly sung the praises of The Boy, but he does a really good job at making memories now. It might have taken him a few months and a little bit of instruction, but he's really gotten good at it.


For the Fourth of July, we drove up to D.C., and it was incredible. We met up with my cousin who is going to school at Georgetown and spent the day at the National Museum(s) of Art, and got to see some pretty cool pieces (Da Vinci, Monet, Van Gogh), and some pretty awful modern art that The Boy actually loved. After the museums, we got hotdogs (because it was the Fourth of July and I insisted. 'Mericuh), and then got lost trying to find his college roommate. We spent the most disgustingly hot and humid hour Of.My.Life. wandering back and forth across the National Mall trying to find the street we needed but, eventually, we did, and walked over to a bar and hung out with some of his friends. After that, we bought a couple cases of beer, which we took to a Congressional office building, where we had some ribs and the best potato salad Of.My.Life. And then.. We climbed on the roof and watched the fireworks over the Washington Memorial. It probably wasn't the best view ever (there was a little bit of roof in the way), it was definitely the most magical firework show I've ever seen.

For several years now, I've wanted to visit a lot of the major cities in the world during their big celebrations, because it combines my love of travel with my love of parties. Being in DC on the 4th was definitely on that list, and I'm super happy that I got to have such an amazing experience.

Other things on the bucket list:
-Carnival in Rio
-Oktoberfest in Germany
-Mardi Gras in New Orleans
-Holi in India
-Chinese New Year in China
-The Hot Air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque (not exactly on par with the rest of them, I know, but I <3 hot air balloons)
-Passover in Jeresalem
-Bastille Day in Paris
-The Olympics (anywhere). I'm still holding out hope that Brother will become a world-famous volleyball coach and end up coaching one of the teams, because that would be awesome.
-New Year's in Time's Square. I've heard that it's actually pretty hellish and they don't even let you pee for like 14 hours, but it's an experience, right? I'd also like to see the Thanksgiving Day Parade
-The Super Bowl. I don't really like football, and I'd miss all of the commercials, but it would still be pretty cool.
-The World Series and whatever they call the basketball finals. Samesies.

I'm sure there are several things that I'm missing, but that's the beauty of a bucket list, right? You can keep adding to it as you go on and experience new things. Any ideas?

Birthday Week Shenanigans

As most of you who read this already know, my birthday was last month.

It. Was. Awesome.

It was on a Monday (which kinda sucks), and I had to work (which kinda sucked), but our Project Coordinator brought in doughnuts!

The Boy was instructed to surprise me--I didn't care what he did or got me, but I wanted him to put effort into it. I wanted the time capital. When I told The Boy and Superman that I had asked my parents for a massage and even sent them a link for a Groupon that magically appeared in my inbox minutes later, Superman accused me of being unnecessarily harsh by instructing The Boy to come up with something special. I told them that my parents had already come up with plenty of special ideas for my birthdays past. The Boy said, somewhat grudgingly, "Dude, it's a test." I don't like to think of it that way, but whatever, if it was, he passed.

He picked me up (major points, I usually meet him at his apartment and we carpool from there because it's on the way to wherever we're going 95% of the time, and mine would be in the opposite direction, which it was in this instance). He took me to dinner at a nice restaurant downtown. We had a really nice time and I was very pleased.

Then, the real kicker--he had gotten us tickets to see the live stream of "One Man, Two Guvnors" from the London National Theatre (featuring the original, Tony-winning cast) that was playing at a local theatre. He took the time to find something that was so me that I would really enjoy. The show started out a little rough--we weren't sure it was going to be good for the first 5-10 minutes, but it picked up pretty quickly. It ended up being hilarious, and we were really glad we got to see it. He did so well, and everyone was so impressed that he did such a good job planning something that worked so well for me.

The day after my birthday, Bestie came and spent almost a whole week with me! It was awesome, and I was so glad she did. She and Superman had planned a sunset hiking adventure for me that was so beautiful (even if I almost died...twice) and included a lovely (if illegal?) swim and a picnic with margaritas. They took me to this lake that was so pretty, but had gates around the main beachy part, so we just decided to take a little detour through the woods and get in on the "wilder" side. After that, we hiked up to this beautiful observation tower that gave us the most amazing, breathtaking views of the mountain and nearby town, and the last vestiges of sunset. We would have seen more of sunset if I wasn't SUUUUUUPER out of shape and if it wasn't a mile and a half of stairs straight up the mountain (and maaaaybe I have sports-induced asthma. I don't know because I don't do enough sports to really notice, but all I know is that when I do a lot of cardio, I feel like I'm breathing through one of those tiny coffee straws, even for a while after I stop doing cardio). On the way down, Bestie, The Boy and I all walked within less than a YARD of a baby rattle snake and completely missed him. Could have stepped right on him and not even noticed. We were all shocked when Superman stopped us to point him out. It could have been disastrous because 1) We had all left our phones in the car, assuming that someone else had one 2) We were at the very top of the mountain (and let's face it--I certainly couldn't have carried any of them down) 3) It was very quickly getting dark, and 4) It was a baby, and if it hadn't just eaten, it would have dispensed a whole crapton of poison into whomever it might have bitten. BUT! We were all fine.

After we finally made it off the mountain (just as it got too dark to really see), we tried to leave the campsite where we may have been parking illegally. I say "illegal" in the loosest sense of the word, because, really, it was just frowned upon. Unfortunately for us, they had locked up the campsite before we had made it down the mountain, meaning we were locked in. Right as we were getting out of the car to see if we could somehow bust out, some hic state trooper pulls up behind us and gives us this big lecture about reading the signs. We read the signs, Mr. State Trooper, we just chose to ignore them. It was ridiculous. 

Bestie threw me a birthday party the next night, which was awesome and included delicious salsa (mine and Ms. Congeniality's*), delicious hamburgers (courtesy of The Boy and Superman), and delicious, if inappropriate, Funfetti cake, ala Bestie. I may have had too much tequila. Maybe.


The next night, Bestie and I met her mom in Myrtle Beach for her high school reunion. She went to school in Germany, because her dad was in the Air Force, and all of the Military Brats that went there have these annual reunions, which seem to me to just be a weekend of drunken debauchery and older people feeling like they're 18 again. Bestie's Mormon mother didn't drink, nor did she engage in the debauchery, but she did shake it on the dance floor and sing Hot in Here (which was HYSTERICAL).

I got to see/swim in the Atlantic for the first time, which was pretty cool. Also, the Atlantic is approximately 80 degrees warmer than the Pacific. I do not know how this is possible, but it is. It was lovely.

I had a great birthday week, and I really appreciate all of my family and friends who made it so great!

*The nicest girl in our program. Who may rank among the nicest people in the world.

The Future is So Bright, He has to Wear Shades

Or some such cliched, inspirational nonsense.

Brother graduated from high school this year. It makes me feel old, having a baby brother who will be starting college in the fall.

He wants to major in Special Ed and minor in ASL, because he wants to work with the happiest kids on campus. I feel like this makes him a pretty good (if naive) person. I admire him a lot.

He's been working like a boss lately--he just got a job installing fire alarms in local schools and he has been doing such a great job that he got promoted after like a week. He's one of the hardest workers on the team and consistently gets the most done. He seems to really like it and I'm really proud of him.

I think he's going to do well. I think I will try to convince him to not live with Mom and Dad all 4 years, like I did, because I think I missed out on a lot of the "college experience" that I hope he gets. I want to convince him to do a study abroad, because I didn't, and everyone I know who did, said that it was the best thing they ever tried. I hope he grows. I hope he learns, and doesn't just get an education. I hope that he meets people who will challenge him and change him. I hope that if he meets a girl, that I will like her (don't judge--you all know you want to like your in-laws, too). I hope he will find something that he's looking for. I hope he remembers who he is, even through all of the changes. I hope he has to work hard, but that he finds joy in that. I hope he loves it.  

To Have and to Hold

Although Summer has barely begun, I have already had several adventures, and I have been remiss in documenting them. This is the first of several posts about my recent trip home.

Cupcake recently wed Mr. Cupcake on the beach in sunny Oceanside, CA. It was a lovely ceremony with about 25 people, short, sweet, and beautiful. I think that they are going to be so happy together. They compliment each other well, as Cupcake noted in her vows, and I think that they both have the strong level of commitment necessary to make a marriage work. When they were taking me to the airport after the wedding weekend was over, they were telling me that they had agreed to never mention divorce until and unless every other option had been exhausted.

I think that that is an important agreement to make when you choose to marry someone--you make a vow to your spouse and God and yourself, and you don't break it. Things get hard, life gets messy, but you commit to Making It Work, even when you don't want to, or the dopamine has worn off, or you are so busy that you have to schedule sex (which, you know what, shouldn't be such a bad thing. Anticipation and all that), or when they're being a jerk, or when you're being a jerk. You just do it.

In my role as MOH, I took a minute before we started getting ready to ask Cupcake if she was sure--it was close to wedding time, but there was still more than enough time to bail. She didn't have to do it, but once she said "I Do" there would be no turning back. She looked at me and said "I never had a moment of doubt." Their ceremony was beautiful, despite the fact that the groom was "near death" (his words, not mine--he woke up with quite the cold and Cupcake and I debated taking him to Urgent Care instead of their wedding dinner after taking pictures on the freezing cold beach).

Mr. Cupcake's dad was hysterical and inappropriate. Like a lot. One morning he asked me and a few of the other young people staying in the beach house if we ever "cyber." (As in cyber sex, which he thought was when your brain has sex with someone else's brain over the internet). 

Their reception in our hometown was also great--we got to dance and drink and laugh. The Boy let me dress him up in bunny ears, giant sunglasses, and a lei for the guestbook photobooth and danced with me all night, even though he hates dancing, because I love it. He also spent the better part of 2 days helping us to set up for the wedding and didn't even complain. We ate s'mores and drank margaritas until 1 in the morning.

Boo Boo Hole

This past weekend, I was able to go home to throw a bachelorette party for my other bestie, Cupcake. It was a whirlwind and I am still exhausted. Because her sister and I (co-MOH's) both are in school in other states, she bought several bridesmaids' dresses for us to try on with the hopes that we wouldn't actually have to go shopping. These hopes were in vain. For some reason, pleating is really "in" right now. My childbearing hips do not know why this is the case. Pleats are cruel and unforgiving (although they aren't as bad as bandage skirts/dresses, which somehow make skinny girls look curvy, and heavy girls look thin, and me (slender, but curvy (read: T & A), well within the normal weight range for my height) look like a beached whale). 10 stores and ~25 dresses later, we finally found a teal-ish/aqua-ish one-shoulder number that's gauzy and beachy and cute without making me look a little pregnant.

We had a lingerie shower at her house, where we did jello shots, played games (get the dick in the hole*, among others), and opened naughty presents. Hilarity and inappropriateness ensued. When I did my shopping, I made the Boy come to the adult store with me, because while I am not terribly prude (I mean, I got her a vibrating cock ring, for goodness' sakes), there is some weird shit in those places (like the dildo that was 4 inches in diameter and if it was physically possible, would have gone up to my boobs if fully inserted, and no, it wasn't a two-way, because it had balls at the end). When I told this story, Cupcake's other friend (who was the only one who got a dirtier present than I did) laughed at me and said that she not only is willing to go by herself, she has a frequent customer card and "wanted [her] points, dammit!"

After the shower, we went to a club in the clubby part of town and danced and laughed and drank overpriced drinks and were mildly dance-raped by strangers. Cupcake was suuuuper drunk and, when shot a look of mild horror, would push the dance-raper away and yell at him for assaulting her friends. A bouncer finally had to tell her to stop it. It was hilarious and wonderful, and I am so happy for her and her fiance. I love them both dearly, and I'm glad that she is with someone who so clearly adores her. I think they'll have a long and happy life together, especially if he keeps paying the cleaning lady. Their wedding is going to be amazing, and having that light at the end of the tunnel is seriously what is going to get me through finals. Four days on the beach with friends, food, and booze? Yes, please!

*It is a relay race in which you tie a hotdog to a string around your waist so that it dangles to your knees, and then without using your hands, try to get the hotdog through the top of a milk jug. Hilarity ensues. The first team to all successfully and quickly get their dicks in the hole wins.

Best Friend Shenanigans

The Bestie was here two weekends ago. It was so lovely to see her. Three months is far too long to wait to see your best friend.

The beginning of her trip was a little rough, because she was flying standby and got bumped from the second leg of her flight, meaning I had to drive to the airport 2 hours away to pick her up instead of the smaller, regional airport 40 minutes away. It was nice, though, because we had 2 hours in the car to catch up. The Boy and our friend Superman* made us a lovely dinner of chicken sandwiches that were ready when we got there. They even waited for us, which was super nice of them, because 1) dinner was 2 hours later than I promised them it would be and 2) I also promised them that I would do most of the cooking. After dinner we went to see The Hunger Games, which was pretty good, but cut out a lot of things that I think made the movie kind of confusing if you didn't read the books. I read a review that said that the "hunger" was practically eliminated from the movie, which I thought was true. There were a lot of scenes where Katniss and/or Peeta "weren't hungry" or "done" without having eaten very much at all. Not so in the book. After the movie, we went  back to the Boy's apartment where we taught Bestie Nertz. I don't know how it's possible that we've been friends for so long and I still haven't taught her Nertz, but she kicked our butts. It was insane.**

Saturday, we went to a "darty" (read: day party) at the home of another friend. There was frisbee, day drinking***, corn hole, roof-sitting, failed drunk tests (Superman and I have the bruises to prove it), videogames, Bang!****, and being told yet again how amazing mom's my salsa is. Afterwards, we went back to the Boy's and watched Man on Fire, but Bestie and I fell asleep halfway through. Not really sure what happened, but I woke up to a very violent and confusing ending.

Sunday, we went to the mall, because we both love pretty things, even if we are poor (underwear sales! Free Clinique! How could I say no?) and I showed her the campus and we went to Superman's for dinner and Illuminati, which is a game designed to make you hate your friends. It is essentially conspiracies and backstabbing, and I took to it like a duck to water. It is a good thing that the Boy likes how competitive I am, because pretty much no one else does. It's not my most attractive feature, but he shares my dislike of people who can never seem to give a damn about anything.

I miss her dearly, and I really wish that she could come visit me every month, at least, but alas, we are both poor, and even buddy passes are expensive when you're poor. Next year, when she's done saving the LAUSD, she's gonna get a J-O-B and then maybe she can visit some more. Or, alternatively, since she is no longer saddled with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, she can get a J-O-B here and we will live happily ever after. She can fall madly in love with Superman or Captain Optimism***** and we can have adventures and it shall be lovely. Just consider it.



*As per usual, all names have been changed to protect the innocent. Which, clearly, is obvious, because I am, unfortunately, not friends with Superman. (Holy parenthetical interruptions, Batman!) Also, it should be noted that Superman originally suggested the name Clark, as in Kent, but since no one gets actual names, he shall henceforth and forever be known as Superman. Which is "what [he] really wanted, anyway."
**For those of you who don't know, Nertz is essentially multi-player solitaire. You start with a "nertz" pile of 12 cards face down, with a 13th card face up. The object of the game is to get rid of your nertz pile. Any cards left in that pile count as -2 towards your score. You cannot lay any cards on top of your nertz cards. You then deal 4 cards face up to be your "well"(? I don't know what else to call these cards), upon which you play other cards in descending order and opposite colors (for example--if you have a black 7 in your "well" you can lay a red 6 on top, just like in solitaire). Only you can play on your well cards. When you come across an ace, you play it in the center.  Everyone is able to play off of the cards in the center of the table, which are played just like the aces in solitaire--same suit, ascending order. The person who lays a king on a pile in the center turns it face down, indicating that the pile is dead. Each card played in the middle counts as +1, any cards in the "well" area are neither positive nor negative.The first person to call "Nertz" wins the round, and everyone counts their score for the round. The first person to 100 wins the game.
***Bestie and I were able to create a delicious cocktail by salvaging and combining a strawberry margarita that had too much strawberry and not enough tequila and a screwdriver with too much vodka and not enough orange juice. It tasted like summer and freedom.
****Like mafia, but harder and less fun. 
*****I did not ask him for input on his name, but it is highly fitting. 

Spring Breakin'

Readers, I really need to start listening to the Boy when he tells me that I need to stop freaking out about something. Meeting his  family/friends went incredibly well and I really liked all of them. He said they liked me, too, which is really good.

We drove up on Saturday and had dinner with his parents and hung out with some of his childhood friends. On Sunday we visited his mom at work (she manages a very nice but very over-priced retail store) and went to see Act of Valor at one of those fancy new movie theatres that let you eat dinner and have alcohol. Can I just express to you what a genius idea this is? Because it is. It's right up there with Redbox, Netflix, and Sheetz (a new experience for me--it's a gas station with a full-service, made-to-order restaurant inside. It's not gourmet, but it's pretty damn good for a gas station).

Monday we headed in to DC where we met up with the Boy's college roommate, who is a legislative aid for some Congressman whose name escapes me at the moment. Congress was out, so he was able to take a few hours and give us a tour and we got to sit on the floor of the House! I realize that it's pretty nerdy how excited I got about that, but it's pretty cool. After the Capitol, we went to the Air and Space museum where I learned that I am not a natural at flying planes. And that the simulator workers are sexist. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't be the pilot! After that we had dinner and drinks with his frat brothers and I met his roommate's fiance. She was very nice, and as much as I like hanging out with the guys, it was nice to have another girl around. Tuesday we went to the International Spy Museum, which was awesome, and did the spy adventure, which was not awesome. After that we headed to the Natural History Museum and saw an exhibit on evolution and the dinosaurs and the Hope Diamond and other pretty, sparkly things. Unfortunately, we only had about an hour and a half there before they closed (we spent too much time in the gift shop of the Spy Museum. The Boy was enthralled.). Then we went to dinner again and went back to his friends' house where I lost horribly at Super Smash (as always). Wednesday we saw the Washington and Lincoln Memorials and the outside of the Whitehouse, and then drove back to his parents'. We lost at their regular Wednesday night trivia.

Thursday we went shopping because the Boy needed new dress clothes for the summer (he will be helping out on the project I am working on, and we need to wear business casual clothes to run subjects). After that, we went trap shooting, (I know what you're thinking, readers. Me? Guns? What? but it wasn't like that), and I did surprisingly well, considering it was my first time ever holding a gun. It was also surprisingly fun (at least, when I was hitting things). I was, once again, amazed and impressed by the Boy's athletic ability. It really is unfair how good he is at basically everything. His dad and I spent a few hours talking about how good he is at sports. It's just isn't fair. I know I'm gushing a bit, but the guy is incredibly athletic (and it really is effortless for him), and he's smarter than I am (and kind and humble enough to deny it every time I tell him so), and he's cute to boot. And has a great family. He's quite the catch. After that, we had some dinner and then his friends came over and we played cards until way too late (like 4 AM late).

Friday was a lazy day... we watched some Walking Dead and read a bit and then went to dinner with his dad and came back and watched some Modern Family, which is just hilarious. On Saturday, we packed up and headed back home.

Amazingly enough, we didn't fight, we aren't sick of each other, and really, it was nice to spend so much time together and not feel the need to chatter or be doing something constantly. We could just sit around and enjoy each others' company in silence while we were driving or reading or just relaxing. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable at all. Maybe it's because we're still in that honeymoon phase, but I'm never able to spend that much time with someone without getting sick of them.

Bestie gets in on Friday, and I am terribly excited to see her. Expect another post about our shenanigans.

At the end of the month, I go home to throw my other friend a Bachelorette party, and I'm super excited. If it weren't for midterms, I think March might just be my favorite month.

One Month Later

It's been exactly one month since I got here, and I was right. It's not THAT bad. I mean, it's not fantastic, but it's definitely as bad as it was those first few days. I'm not ALWAYS lost, and I've gotten used to copious amounts of u-turns (some of them are always necessary because they don't believe in left turns here, and some are because I still do get lost a lot). I think I can legitimately count the people here as friends now. I'm still homesick all of the time, and everything makes me think of the people and the place that I've left behind, but it's not so painful all the time. It's better when I get out of the house--sitting home alone is tough, so I socialize A LOT. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, but it does result in things like my 2 1/2 hour nap today (which was also because my brain is exhausted).

I was right that this was one of the hardest things I've done. I don't know if it's because my brain had atrophied from disuse in the semester I took off or if it's because this stuff is really hard, or because I care so much more now (or some combination of the 3), but I am trying so much harder now than I did in undergrad. I think this is probably a good thing. It's SUPPOSED to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great. Or, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

My point is, I was right. Even if it didn't seem like it would get better it did. Thanks, former advisor, for teaching me the law of regression to the mean. It's always so helpful in restoring my sanity.

My wonderful Mom has a birthday on Saturday. Stay tuned for a post all about her. In the mean time, I'm going to react to a cognition article and work on building a website.

One thing I will say about moving out here--I'm doing a lot of things I've never really done before (exercising semi-regularly, willingly watching football games--albeit not very interestedly, making websites) and it's really showing me my potential to grow. I can do a lot more than I ever really let myself do before.