Grad school is harder than anything you've done before. People say this, and you'll think "how hard could it be? I was so good in undergrad. I never even had to do the reading, I just Knew Things!", and I'm telling you, it's not the same. It's very very different. You will cry in your office, or in the lounge, or in your advisor's office, or in your room, alone (or, more than likely, all of the above places). You won't understand things that you thought you KNEW. It'll be ok, I promise.
Grad school isn't very structured. You'll have to figure your own shit out, and it's going to take longer than you think it will. Everything will take more time than you think it will. Readings will be longer and more complicated. You will fuck up some minor step in your data analysis or cleaning and have to redo the whole thing, probably five times. You will be given enough rope to hang yourself with, and it will be easier than you think to get your priorities out of order and not be able to do everything you're supposed to do, because sometimes it seems like you have forever to do things. There is a reason you have so long--it takes a REALLY long time. You will eventually get things done, because that's just what happens, but you really don't want to be that one person in your cohort who is always the late one. Don't be that person.
Befriend your cohort. Seriously. You are probably far from home and people you know, and you are not going to be able to get through your program without making some good friends. Have 1-2 people who are your new besties, people who you are with more often than not (e.g. The Boy and Superman). Have a girlfriend or two to go shopping with, or to go to brunch with, or who will go see the new chick flick with you when the boys don't want to. Start a regular department happy hour once a week where you can go and laugh about how crazy your professors are. Go to the parties. Even if you have a significant other. Especially if you have a significant other, because, chances are, if you do, you will want to be a hermit and stay with them or Skype with them, and you'll burn out because you have no support system where you are. That being said, try to find a few friends outside your cohort (and even though I'm breaking my own rule), don't date someone in your cohort. You have to spend so much time with these people, sometimes it's nice to just get away from them.
If you don't like who you were before, now is a really good time to reinvent yourself. More than likely, you are far from all you know and love, and like (most) undergrad experiences, this gives you the chance to try new things and become someone you like better. Develop new habits, learn new (non-grad-school-related) things. Find new favorite places. Become friends with someone who you don't think you have anything in common with.
There is always something you COULD be doing and almost always something you SHOULD be doing. You'll need to just have to let that go sometimes, and just watch TV or bake or drink or blog or scrapbook or go on a date or just take a nap. It'll be ok. You can't let the guilt of relaxing ruin your relaxing.
Remember why you decided to come to grad school. Remember that you love what you're doing, because there will be a lot of days that you don't love it. Remember your bigger goals and the things you wanted before you wanted to go to grad school. Know when it's worth it to make a sacrifice and when it isn't. Enjoy learning. Enjoy teaching. Enjoy creating new knowledge.
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Bucket Listing
I know that I have repeatedly sung the praises of The Boy, but he does a really good job at making memories now. It might have taken him a few months and a little bit of instruction, but he's really gotten good at it.
For the Fourth of July, we drove up to D.C., and it was incredible. We met up with my cousin who is going to school at Georgetown and spent the day at the National Museum(s) of Art, and got to see some pretty cool pieces (Da Vinci, Monet, Van Gogh), and some pretty awful modern art that The Boy actually loved. After the museums, we got hotdogs (because it was the Fourth of July and I insisted. 'Mericuh), and then got lost trying to find his college roommate. We spent the most disgustingly hot and humid hour Of.My.Life. wandering back and forth across the National Mall trying to find the street we needed but, eventually, we did, and walked over to a bar and hung out with some of his friends. After that, we bought a couple cases of beer, which we took to a Congressional office building, where we had some ribs and the best potato salad Of.My.Life. And then.. We climbed on the roof and watched the fireworks over the Washington Memorial. It probably wasn't the best view ever (there was a little bit of roof in the way), it was definitely the most magical firework show I've ever seen.
For several years now, I've wanted to visit a lot of the major cities in the world during their big celebrations, because it combines my love of travel with my love of parties. Being in DC on the 4th was definitely on that list, and I'm super happy that I got to have such an amazing experience.
Other things on the bucket list:
-Carnival in Rio
-Oktoberfest in Germany
-Mardi Gras in New Orleans
-Holi in India
-Chinese New Year in China
-The Hot Air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque (not exactly on par with the rest of them, I know, but I <3 hot air balloons)
-Passover in Jeresalem
-Bastille Day in Paris
-The Olympics (anywhere). I'm still holding out hope that Brother will become a world-famous volleyball coach and end up coaching one of the teams, because that would be awesome.
-New Year's in Time's Square. I've heard that it's actually pretty hellish and they don't even let you pee for like 14 hours, but it's an experience, right? I'd also like to see the Thanksgiving Day Parade
-The Super Bowl. I don't really like football, and I'd miss all of the commercials, but it would still be pretty cool.
-The World Series and whatever they call the basketball finals. Samesies.
I'm sure there are several things that I'm missing, but that's the beauty of a bucket list, right? You can keep adding to it as you go on and experience new things. Any ideas?
For the Fourth of July, we drove up to D.C., and it was incredible. We met up with my cousin who is going to school at Georgetown and spent the day at the National Museum(s) of Art, and got to see some pretty cool pieces (Da Vinci, Monet, Van Gogh), and some pretty awful modern art that The Boy actually loved. After the museums, we got hotdogs (because it was the Fourth of July and I insisted. 'Mericuh), and then got lost trying to find his college roommate. We spent the most disgustingly hot and humid hour Of.My.Life. wandering back and forth across the National Mall trying to find the street we needed but, eventually, we did, and walked over to a bar and hung out with some of his friends. After that, we bought a couple cases of beer, which we took to a Congressional office building, where we had some ribs and the best potato salad Of.My.Life. And then.. We climbed on the roof and watched the fireworks over the Washington Memorial. It probably wasn't the best view ever (there was a little bit of roof in the way), it was definitely the most magical firework show I've ever seen.
For several years now, I've wanted to visit a lot of the major cities in the world during their big celebrations, because it combines my love of travel with my love of parties. Being in DC on the 4th was definitely on that list, and I'm super happy that I got to have such an amazing experience.
Other things on the bucket list:
-Carnival in Rio
-Oktoberfest in Germany
-Mardi Gras in New Orleans
-Holi in India
-Chinese New Year in China
-The Hot Air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque (not exactly on par with the rest of them, I know, but I <3 hot air balloons)
-Passover in Jeresalem
-Bastille Day in Paris
-The Olympics (anywhere). I'm still holding out hope that Brother will become a world-famous volleyball coach and end up coaching one of the teams, because that would be awesome.
-New Year's in Time's Square. I've heard that it's actually pretty hellish and they don't even let you pee for like 14 hours, but it's an experience, right? I'd also like to see the Thanksgiving Day Parade
-The Super Bowl. I don't really like football, and I'd miss all of the commercials, but it would still be pretty cool.
-The World Series and whatever they call the basketball finals. Samesies.
I'm sure there are several things that I'm missing, but that's the beauty of a bucket list, right? You can keep adding to it as you go on and experience new things. Any ideas?
Bestie Birthday
Bestie's birthday was last week, and because we both made terrible life choices (her following He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and me going to grad school), we've ended up on opposite coasts, so I didn't get to see her on her birthday. It was terribly sad. I did get to see my parents on her birthday, though, which was terribly happy.
Anyway, enough digressing. Here are 23 reasons why I love Bestie:
1) She always, always, always sticks up for the little guy.
2) She wants to save the world, and unlike a lot of people in our generation, I think she might actually do it. Or at least get the ball rolling on it.
3) Even though we fight about whether or not continuing to include people who have wronged you in your life is a necessary part of forgiving them (I don't think it is), she will always, always, always give you another chance.
4) (Man Voice) "I'm not wearing a skirt"
5) She always takes care of me when I'm drinking.
6) The rockin' birthday party she planned for me
7) She is way better at sending mail than I am (like, way better). And also, being crafty and making awesome pick-me-up/encouragement cards that magically appear in my mailbox when I've been having a really crappy week.
8) She's one of the hardest-working people I know.
9) She has great taste in books and is always willing to lend me some.
10) She is infinitely creative and is always looking for ways to make things more efficient or more beautiful or more... whatever. And she's pretty good at it.
11) She will let me snuggle her when we have sleepovers, even though she hates it.
12) She gives me food anxiety.
13) She's super brave. She signs up to do things like the AmeriCORPS VISTA program and going off to teach English to kids in Korea. I'm proud of her, even if it means that she's going to the other side of the world.
14) She pushes me to keep going. When we were in high school, we studied REALLY hard for the AP US History Exam, but when it came time to take the test, I got halfway through my 2nd or 3rd DBQ and just really wanted to quit. I sat there, staring at the wall, unable to will my hand to pick my pencil back up and continue working. She turned to me, asked me what the hell I thought I was doing, told me to get back to work, and I did. I passed the test, and even now, when I find myself wanting to quit, I hear her voice inside my head, asking me what the hell I think I'm doing, quitting.
15) Maybe I got haggis!
16) She is always up for an adventure, and pretty much anything, from a short hike to a quick jaunt over to Castle Megastore to pick up a bachelorette party present qualifies as an adventure when Bestie is around.
17) She encourages me to do fun and silly things, like auditioning for ANTM that one time. We decided that they wanted that season to be about ugly girls, because fo' reals, ya'll, not being conceited, we were way better looking than EVERYONE on that season.
18) I'll take two swirl ice cream cones, and do you have anything free?
19) She always does what needs to be done, even if there is no glory or thanks in the task, and she doesn't complain.
20) She's generous--always willing to share.
21) She's so passionate--she cares so much about so many things, and doesn't let slow progress discourage her.
22) Even though we don't talk or see each other as much as I would like, when we do, it's like no time has passed at all. She's always willing to listen to my rantings and will always try to make me feel better.
23) She's always trying to make herself better, by learning a new language, or taking some class online or trying new recipes--she is never satisfied with "good enough"--she strives for greatness.
I love you, Bestie! Happy birthday!
Anyway, enough digressing. Here are 23 reasons why I love Bestie:
1) She always, always, always sticks up for the little guy.
2) She wants to save the world, and unlike a lot of people in our generation, I think she might actually do it. Or at least get the ball rolling on it.
3) Even though we fight about whether or not continuing to include people who have wronged you in your life is a necessary part of forgiving them (I don't think it is), she will always, always, always give you another chance.
4) (Man Voice) "I'm not wearing a skirt"
5) She always takes care of me when I'm drinking.
6) The rockin' birthday party she planned for me
7) She is way better at sending mail than I am (like, way better). And also, being crafty and making awesome pick-me-up/encouragement cards that magically appear in my mailbox when I've been having a really crappy week.
8) She's one of the hardest-working people I know.
9) She has great taste in books and is always willing to lend me some.
10) She is infinitely creative and is always looking for ways to make things more efficient or more beautiful or more... whatever. And she's pretty good at it.
11) She will let me snuggle her when we have sleepovers, even though she hates it.
12) She gives me food anxiety.
13) She's super brave. She signs up to do things like the AmeriCORPS VISTA program and going off to teach English to kids in Korea. I'm proud of her, even if it means that she's going to the other side of the world.
14) She pushes me to keep going. When we were in high school, we studied REALLY hard for the AP US History Exam, but when it came time to take the test, I got halfway through my 2nd or 3rd DBQ and just really wanted to quit. I sat there, staring at the wall, unable to will my hand to pick my pencil back up and continue working. She turned to me, asked me what the hell I thought I was doing, told me to get back to work, and I did. I passed the test, and even now, when I find myself wanting to quit, I hear her voice inside my head, asking me what the hell I think I'm doing, quitting.
15) Maybe I got haggis!
16) She is always up for an adventure, and pretty much anything, from a short hike to a quick jaunt over to Castle Megastore to pick up a bachelorette party present qualifies as an adventure when Bestie is around.
17) She encourages me to do fun and silly things, like auditioning for ANTM that one time. We decided that they wanted that season to be about ugly girls, because fo' reals, ya'll, not being conceited, we were way better looking than EVERYONE on that season.
18) I'll take two swirl ice cream cones, and do you have anything free?
19) She always does what needs to be done, even if there is no glory or thanks in the task, and she doesn't complain.
20) She's generous--always willing to share.
21) She's so passionate--she cares so much about so many things, and doesn't let slow progress discourage her.
22) Even though we don't talk or see each other as much as I would like, when we do, it's like no time has passed at all. She's always willing to listen to my rantings and will always try to make me feel better.
23) She's always trying to make herself better, by learning a new language, or taking some class online or trying new recipes--she is never satisfied with "good enough"--she strives for greatness.
I love you, Bestie! Happy birthday!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
The Future is So Bright, He has to Wear Shades
Or some such cliched, inspirational nonsense.
Brother graduated from high school this year. It makes me feel old, having a baby brother who will be starting college in the fall.
He wants to major in Special Ed and minor in ASL, because he wants to work with the happiest kids on campus. I feel like this makes him a pretty good (if naive) person. I admire him a lot.
He's been working like a boss lately--he just got a job installing fire alarms in local schools and he has been doing such a great job that he got promoted after like a week. He's one of the hardest workers on the team and consistently gets the most done. He seems to really like it and I'm really proud of him.
I think he's going to do well. I think I will try to convince him to not live with Mom and Dad all 4 years, like I did, because I think I missed out on a lot of the "college experience" that I hope he gets. I want to convince him to do a study abroad, because I didn't, and everyone I know who did, said that it was the best thing they ever tried. I hope he grows. I hope he learns, and doesn't just get an education. I hope that he meets people who will challenge him and change him. I hope that if he meets a girl, that I will like her (don't judge--you all know you want to like your in-laws, too). I hope he will find something that he's looking for. I hope he remembers who he is, even through all of the changes. I hope he has to work hard, but that he finds joy in that. I hope he loves it.
Brother graduated from high school this year. It makes me feel old, having a baby brother who will be starting college in the fall.
He wants to major in Special Ed and minor in ASL, because he wants to work with the happiest kids on campus. I feel like this makes him a pretty good (if naive) person. I admire him a lot.
He's been working like a boss lately--he just got a job installing fire alarms in local schools and he has been doing such a great job that he got promoted after like a week. He's one of the hardest workers on the team and consistently gets the most done. He seems to really like it and I'm really proud of him.
I think he's going to do well. I think I will try to convince him to not live with Mom and Dad all 4 years, like I did, because I think I missed out on a lot of the "college experience" that I hope he gets. I want to convince him to do a study abroad, because I didn't, and everyone I know who did, said that it was the best thing they ever tried. I hope he grows. I hope he learns, and doesn't just get an education. I hope that he meets people who will challenge him and change him. I hope that if he meets a girl, that I will like her (don't judge--you all know you want to like your in-laws, too). I hope he will find something that he's looking for. I hope he remembers who he is, even through all of the changes. I hope he has to work hard, but that he finds joy in that. I hope he loves it.
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