Things I find douche-tastic

So this girl that I went to undergrad with (and whom I should really just defriend, because she's super annoying and acts like an immature 15 year old (meaning immature for even a typical 15 year old)) posted some nonsense on Facebook about a Vegas weekend, followed with "YOLO", which is quite possibly the douchiest phrase ever invented. Freakin' Drake and Tyga. (I am purposely leaving out the link for the song because I don't want to encourage that crap). So I started complaining about YOLO and douchey people, and my friend, Carp*, who introduces me to all the best shit on the internet (like the hairpin), told me about this video:

Warning: NSFW, but freaking hilarious. If you're reading this at work, email it to yourself and watch it at home. You'll thank me. Also, watch "Pregnant women are smug". I wish I had a closer pregnant friend to whom I could send that video, because I don't think any of my pregnant acquaintances would appreciate it.

And I decided to write a whole post about douchey people/places/things/ideas 

-People who complain about how much time they spend on something that is totally voluntary and optional. Yes, I'm talking to you, douchey Wikipedia editor(s). STFU about the DYKs already. If you don't like it, stop doing it. 

-The new Prius commercials about the douchey people who drive Prius'. But that's kinda meta-douche, so I don't know if that really counts. 

-Academic journal articles that are presented as some sort of meta-analysis or lit review that are really just one or two authors citing the crap out of themselves in order to get their citation indices up.

-People who think The Onion is real news

-People who think that Pintrest is gospel.

-People who get too hung up on details (yes, sometimes I am douchey. Making this list also probably makes me douchey). 

-All things Ed Hardy

-Drunkenly yelling out of car windows

     -Basically everything from this song: 

      Also, I am in love with that weird skirt/pants thing they have going on. Especially the futuristic fabric. 

-Women who hover when they pee and leave pee all over the seat.
-The women who write Cosmo and who tell me that that effortless-looking Victoria's Secret hair really is effortless, and then proceed to have a multi-step article spelling out how to do it that actually involves several expensive products, a lot of effort and would take approximately an hour and a half.**

*As always, names changed to protect the innocent.
**Especially frustrating since the Boy and I recently had a conversation about how he finds me most attractive when it doesn't look like I've put any effort in. What I fail to make him grasp is how much effort it takes to make it look like I haven't made any effort.