Evaluating the last year

Since it's now the new year, I figured it was about time to evaluate these things (and because I'm procrastinating HARD on things I really need to get done), here is 2012 in review:

 New Year's Resolutions

1. Lose 15 pounds by my friends' wedding (May 18th). I'm MOH, and I refuse to feel like I look chubby in the pictures (or, worse, actually be chubby). Plus, I'm creeping up towards the heaviest I've been and I don't like it. It is also probably good for me to exercise and eat better, considering how often people (ok, mostly the Boy and our mutual friend at school)say to me, "I can't believe the things you put in your body." I will be using this app to help me. It's amazing, it's free, and it is basically one of the best apps I've ever seen. If you're trying to lose weight, I highly recommend it. You put in your starting weight, your goal weight, and then it gives you different recommendations on calorie limits depending on how fast you want to lose it, you can scan the bar codes on your food, it has full restaurant menus, and it tracks your exercise and progress. It's brilliant. 

This one was semi-successful. I lost about half of that, so I'm still 8-10 pounds above where I'd like to be, but I'm no longer worried about how heavy I'm getting. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for not getting morbidly obese in the last semester, because it's been incredibly stressful and I've been eating out for pretty much every meal. I also stopped exercising at all in October, because I noticed that excess movement made whatever is wrong with my stomach hurt worse. I wasn't too happy about that one because I feel kinda sluggish and gross being so purposefully sedentary all the time, but I don't know what else to do until they figure out what's wrong. They say it's IBS, but I don't believe them. I don't know anyone who has ever gone to the hospital over IBS, and the medicine they give me to help with it doesn't actually make the pain go away.

2. Go to bed by midnight ~5 nights per week. This should help with the weight loss (getting enough sleep makes people eat less). Plus, getting enough sleep should make me healthier, happier, and less stressed overall. 

HAHAHAHAHAHHA yeah, no this one did not happen.

3. Go/do/try at least 1 new thing per month. This month was Zumba with the bride from the aforementioned wedding. We burned 700 calories in an hour. I'm exhausted. My arms feel like they're going to fall off. I want at least one month to involve going to a city/state?/country? that I have never been to before. Considering I live in an entirely new area now, this should not be an issue, but you know how New Year's Resolutions go.

I don't know that I was 100% successful on this one, but I was pretty close. In the last year, I've met The Boy's family (which went way better than I expected), I went to DC (twice!), I learned how to shoot, I wrote an article for Wikipedia (and because of the semi-anonymity of this blog, I won't tell you which one), I threw/attended my first Bachelorette party, had Bestie visit me (twice!), went to Myrtle Beach, finished my first year of grad school and started my second, was in a wedding, had a really great birthday, applied to PhD programs (again...), went to NYC, switched advisors, went to Savannah and Gainesville, had a health scare, found a new restaurant that I love, made new friends with the first years, and probably 100 other things I can't even think of right now. This year was really fun, and despite the fact that there were some shitty times, I think that I'll look back on 2012 as a year of growth and accomplishment.

 4. Better time management. I want to schedule work out time at least 3 days per week and finish my work by 8 PM every night. I'm going to use this app to track my time. I think my plan is to get up around 8, exercise for 30-60 minutes, come back, get ready, catch the 10 or 10:30 shuttle, start work by 11, and finish by 7 or 8. If I am going to do a group exercise class like zumba or yoga, I will go into school earlier and finish up for the day in time to go to the class. I will work/work out on the weekends as necessary.

 Yeah, this one didn't really happen either. I think I did better in the spring, but this semester was hellish and there were a lot of 12 hour days and not enough sleep and no exercise whatsoever.

5. Recognize when it is time to say "Fuckit" and actually say it. I really need to dial back the crazyeyes. It scares other people, it isn't good for me, it doesn't improve my performance, and frankly, I'm tired of being the craziest person in the class.

This one was and wasn't successful... I did learn a lot about what I could and could not tolerate, and I made some changes, but there were definitely plenty of crazyeyes moments this past year, including one major panic attack that really lasted like a week and a half.

6. Read at least 1 fiction book per month. The roommate has me reading these books now, and the Boy (he needs a nickname, Bestie) is insisting that I read these books immediately so we can go see the movie. I'm mildly concerned about the rape scene. In general, I really hate reading/seeing people who are just cruel to one another, but rape/abuse scenes are especially hard to stomach. Anyway, I digress. I plan to read fiction books this year, because it's good for me to unwind and gives me something to look forward to.

I did pretty well at this one. I did spend like 6 months reading the 4th Game of Thrones book because it was God-awful, but the others were all fantastic. I also read all of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books, Dune, Lamb, Ender's Game, Learning to be Good, and I think a couple of others. It may not have been one book per month, but some of those books were monstrous. I'm counting this one as a win.


Anyway, here is to a year full of love, laughter, growth, and joy. I'm going to get rid of some of the bad stuff and integrate more of the good stuff and hope for the best. I hope all of you make the best out of it, too. I think I did ok at that. How was your year? Did you do everything you wanted to?

I don't have time for this....

But it's been 12 hours of working and I need a break.

When I run the world:
-You will not have to submit an official copy of anything to any graduate program until they officially want you. ETS and their $25/copy of the GRE is bullshit. Absolute bullshit.
-All applications for anything, ever, will be housed on one website. You will fill that shit out once, and send it to whomever you want--college, grad school, jobs, potential dates, whoever. All in one place.
-No one will be allowed to charge for transcripts (Undergrad Institution, with your $15/transcript fee, I'm talking to you)
          -People who want 2 transcripts are horrible, horrible people. I am poor, and you want me to spend an ADDITIONAL $30 to send you my transcripts on top of your $125 app fee?
-No one can reasonably expect you to write a 20-page paper that is going in the trash in 2 weeks when you have 8 million other more important things to do.
-WiFi will always be lightning fast and free.
-There will be student discounts on everything ever.
-Doctors who are specialists who can't diagnose your pain can't just say "not my problem" (in not so many words) and just send you on your way for another million tests.


There are other things, but that's all I can think of for the moment.

Updating

So I have a minute while I wait for The Boy to come pick me up and rescue me from the war zone that is the Roommate watching the Steelers game. That chick is crazy about the Steelers.

Anyway, I've been having some health issues for the last 4-6 weeks (I've forgotten when it started)), and so that's been fun. I have undiagnosed abdominal pain that comes and goes seemingly at random, for which my only cure thus far is Vicodin. (Hence why The Boy is coming to get me--I'm not exactly fit to drive at the moment).

School is insane at the moment. Between the 20 page neuro paper, the 10 page self-reg paper, the 20 page prospectus, and applications (not to mention the 15 hours per week I'm supposed to put in for my RAship, actually going to class, lab meetings, and little things like sleeping and eating), I don't understand how I'm going to get through until Christmas. Needless to say, if I don't finish my Christmas shopping on Black Friday, it's not getting done til Christmas Eve. If it gets done.

Although, because I have an incredibly supportive and sympathetic new advisor (old advisor being on sabbatical was just not working out), I did score us a two-week extension on our self-reg paper, so that was nice.

I miss my family and I can't wait until I get to go home for Thanksgiving. Just one more week! It'll be so nice, since I haven't been home in just shy of 6 months.

I wish Bestie would come home for Thanksgiving. Korea is too far away.

My subscription boxes have been kinda nice, but mostly disappointing, and I don't have time to blog about stuff I'm not super ecstatic about at the moment, so I let that go.

Anyway, that's all for now. Have a good day, folks, and remember to be thankful.

Things I'm Learning

This last weekend has been, shall we say... eventful. There was some shit with someone in a position of authority, and there was a panic attack, and there is still a lot of freaking out and wanting to go home going on.

But!

I am choosing to try to focus on the positives. And I'm learning things now, about what kind of person I am/want to be, the kind of person I do not want to become, and the kind of people I have surrounding me.

Positives:
1) Calling Mom always helps.
2) Hearing about Brother's ridiculousness also always helps.
3) Even if I don't believe him when he's telling me, I trust The Boy when he tells me everything is going to be ok. And I appreciate him for dropping everything to just be there for me when I need him.
4) The Boy and Superman are awesome, awesome friends, and I seriously could not have gotten through this weekend without them. They blew off a hike that they had been looking forward to to help me with my stuff, and didn't get mad or defensive when I displaced some anger/frustration/panic/general unpleasantness on them. When I tried to protest the cancelling of their plans, Superman turned to me and said "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to [The Boy]. Now be quiet and let the men speak." They take really good care of me, and I can't appreciate them enough.
5) I get to look forward to having dinner with The Boy's parents tomorrow and Superman's mom next weekend. Not quite as awesome as it would be to have dinner with my parents, but a close second. It's nice to have parents around, and it helps me feel less homesick.
6) No matter how bad this gets, it won't be the end of the world. Things will go on, I will find something else to be successful at, and the people who love me will still love me. I asked, they promised.
7) Skyping with Bestie is awesome, even when the internet connection sucks. I am so proud of how brave she is.

So anyway, I have a lot of shit to continue to take care of now, so I should get back to it. Remember to be mindful of the way you treat people and be mindful of the way you allow others to treat you. Focus on the positive, and cultivate a strong support system. Do your best, because that's really all you can do.

The Center of the Universe

Last month, The Boy and I went to NYC for his brother's engagement party.

It was pretty cool.

The Boy's brother works for some sort of real estate hedge fund thing (I'm still not sure what he does, exactly, but it involves buying malls and office buildings and stuff), and his fiance is a lawyer. They have this really cute apartment (with an actual bedroom with a door that closes!) in the West Village (which is not the same thing as being on the West side of Greenwich Village) and lead such fabulous (albeit, busy) lives and I must admit I was more than a little jealous/insecure hanging out with them and their friends. They have such cute clothes and do such glamorous things and eat at such wonderful restaurants and, well, I am poor and live in the city (town?) that I live in, and let me just say, it isn't glamorous, even a little bit.

While we were there, we stayed in SoHo (it means South of Houston St, which I had never known before), which meant we did a lot of shopping  looking at things that we couldn't afford, like the cute D&G cocktail dress I found at some sort of Last Chance store for $300, or the Italian shirt the boy tried on for $100. It was nice, don't get me wrong, but it was a button down. Not exactly worth it, in my opinion, but it was fun to browse, minus the parts where I was dismayed at how poor I'm going to be for years and years to come. I told my dad this, and he was like, "No, that's like thinking you're fat when you're pregnant. You're not fat when you're pregnant, you're just pregnant! And you're not poor now, you're just a student!" I don't think he's quite right there, but whatevs.

We went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art where we saw some pretty cool stuff. The boy and I quite enjoy going to museums. It makes us feel cultured. There is one downside... he really likes modern art and I really, really hate it. I think it's really ugly, and have some sort of visceral, disgusted reaction to the celebration of random squiggles. I was able to convince him that we could go to MoMA on a different trip to NYC... unfortunately, I'm pretty sure he's going to hold me to it. After the museum we wandered through Central Park (it's huge!) and I was disappointed to learn that Central Perk is not a real place.

We also ate some amazing, amazing food. The night we got in, we went to this Italian place that was near their apartment, and everything was SOOOOOOOO good. So delicious. Like heaven in my mouth. We also got the requisite bagels (delicious) and pizza (delicious), and the best tacos I've had in America from this taco truck. I really wish I could remember the name--I think it was "[Some Neighborhood (I think it was the one South of SoHo)] Taco Truck. Super delicious. We also ate breakfast across the street from our hotel in a very Seinfeld-esque diner that was fast, cheap, and also, pretty delicious.

We also got to see a show off-Broadway, which was pretty exciting. We went to a discount box office called TKTS, which sells tickets to Broadway and off-Broadway shows for 30-70% off face value. We had several options, but the available Broadway shows were all things we were unfamiliar with, and since tickets were $90-100 a piece (that's half off!) we decided to see Newsical, which we were told was "Fucking Hilarious" and "a million times better than Avenue Q" (which was the off-Broadway show that we were planning on picking if the Broadway stuff didn't work out). One of the reviews said it was basically The Daily Show set to music, which it was. It was pretty funny, but not "fucking hilarious" or "a million times funnier than Avenue Q". I still enjoyed myself, though. Next time we go, we'll need to see a show on Broadway, though.

It was a really great trip, and I'm glad we went. I really like the amount of traveling that The Boy and I get to do together. It's nice to make all these memories and have all of these adventures.

Advice to New Grad Students

Grad school is harder than anything you've done before. People say this, and you'll think "how hard could it be? I was so good in undergrad. I never even had to do the reading, I just Knew Things!", and I'm telling you, it's not the same. It's very very different. You will cry in your office, or in the lounge, or in your advisor's office, or in your room, alone (or, more than likely, all of the above places). You won't understand things that you thought you KNEW. It'll be ok, I promise.

Grad school isn't very structured. You'll have to figure your own shit out, and it's going to take longer than you think it will. Everything will take more time than you think it will. Readings will be longer and more complicated. You will fuck up some minor step in your data analysis or cleaning and have to redo the whole thing, probably five times. You will be given enough rope to hang yourself with, and it will be easier than you think to get your priorities out of order and not be able to do everything you're supposed to do, because sometimes it seems like you have forever to do things. There is a reason you have so long--it takes a REALLY long time. You will eventually get things done, because that's just what happens, but you really don't want to be that one person in your cohort who is always the late one. Don't be that person.

Befriend your cohort. Seriously. You are probably far from home and people you know, and you are not going to be able to get through your program without making some good friends. Have 1-2 people who are your new besties, people who you are with more often than not (e.g. The Boy and Superman). Have a girlfriend or two to go shopping with, or to go to brunch with, or who will go see the new chick flick with you when the boys don't want to. Start a regular department happy hour once a week where you can go and laugh about how crazy your professors are. Go to the parties. Even if you have a significant other. Especially if you have a significant other, because, chances are, if you do, you will want to be a hermit and stay with them or Skype with them, and you'll burn out because you have no support system where you are. That being said, try to find a few friends outside your cohort (and even though I'm breaking my own rule), don't date someone in your cohort. You have to spend so much time with these people, sometimes it's nice to just get away from them.

If you don't like who you were before, now is a really good time to reinvent yourself. More than likely, you are far from all you know and love, and like (most) undergrad experiences, this gives you the chance to try new things and become someone you like better. Develop new habits, learn new (non-grad-school-related) things. Find new favorite places. Become friends with someone who you don't think you have anything in common with.

There is always something you COULD be doing and almost always something you SHOULD be doing. You'll need to just have to let that go sometimes, and just watch TV or bake or drink or blog or scrapbook or go on a date or just take a nap. It'll be ok. You can't let the guilt of relaxing ruin your relaxing.

Remember why you decided to come to grad school. Remember that you love what you're doing, because there will be a lot of days that you don't love it. Remember your bigger goals and the things you wanted before you wanted to go to grad school. Know when it's worth it to make a sacrifice and when it isn't. Enjoy learning. Enjoy teaching. Enjoy creating new knowledge. 

August Birchbox!

My August Birchbox came while I was in NY (after a few shipping delays--they said it shipped on like the 4th or the 6th, I didn't get it until 2 weeks later, which was much longer than the Glam Bag that shipped using the same method 2 days later and arrived about a week earlier)

Included:

Viva la Juicy La Fleur ($70)
 This stuff is supposed to be a softer, more floral version of Viva La Juicy, but seeing as how I've never smelled that, I can't attest. I like the scent right at first, but as Bestie said in her review, after a little while, it begins to smell like baby prostitute. I've worn it around The Boy, but he hasn't commented, which doesn't mean he doesn't like it, but doesn't mean he's very fond of it either. He normally comments if he thinks I smell good.
**1/2 out of 5 stars

Miss Jessie's Original Stretch Silkening Creme ($22)
This stuff is supposed to help loosen and relax tight curls. Unfortunately, my hair is only kinda wavy, so this does the exact opposite of what I would want curl cream to do. I didn't try it, I just gave it to my African-American roommate. I was pretty bummed, too, because when I was looking at the things that could be sent out this month, I really wanted basically any of the other Miss Jessie's products, as they would have been more my style.
No stars from me since I can't actually use it. 

Pixi Beauty Lip and Line ($18) 
This dual-ended lip liner and lipstick is great. I really like that it matches perfectly and that it's subtle--it gives my pale, pale face some color without screaming HEY! I'M WEARING LIPSTICK!!! It doesn't kiss off, it isn't drying or flaky, and it seems to last a while (although not all day like the promo seems to imply). They had some on clearance at Target the other day that I wanted to buy, but it was a very, very pale shade of pink that I didn't think would be very flattering.
**** out of 5 stars


Yu-Be Moisturizing Skin Cream ($16)
Yet another "miracle" moisturizer/lotion... I used it on my feet, which are super dry/peeling from all o the walking that The Boy makes me do (my vacations consist of reading by the pool and sipping fruity drinks. His include walking for miles and miles). While it helped a little last night, they are rough and dry again in the morning--not exactly what I'd call a miracle, and not really worth $16--I'd rather just use my regular Jergen's lotion and save the $9. Plus, the tube was SUUUPER small. If you're going to send out lotions, you really need them to be at least 3 oz. It has been decided.
** 1/2 out of 5 stars


Shick Hydro 5 Razor ($10)
This is a "Birchbox Find"--something designed to make our lives simpler or better. It was a nice addition, because this is the razor I normally use, so it's always good to have a spare, especially since they're kinda pricey, and the razor paid for the box.
***** out of 5 stars

Overall, I have pretty mixed feelings about this box. I really love the razor and the lipstick, but the razor isn't really why I signed up for Birchbox, and it wasn't something new that I was getting to try. I wasn't crazy about the other 3 items... I'm hoping the next few boxes are more to my liking.