Friday, March 25, 2011

Bright and Shiny

So, readers, I should tell you something about myself. I don't have a lot of interesting, independent ideas. What I do is listen to other people talk about their ideas and that gives me ideas. I'm codependent that way. Sometimes, these ideas are a little bit off the wall, and as my advisor told me recently, he's never sure if I'm a genius or just crazy. I say I'm a little bit of both, only time will tell which wins out as my defining characteristic.

Anyway, the point of telling you that was because I was reading my bestie's blog and she was talking about how everyone else in the world is all "My life is so wonderful and my husband is so handsome and does the dishes and we NEVER fight and my baby is just the cutest baby EVER and s/he never screams all night long or says embarrassing things in public!" And it's a little... shall we say... annoying. It's annoying because, yeah, your life is wonderful and your husband is a supermodel who does the dishes and your babies are adorable, but you know what? Your husband, he's got some deadly farts. And he picks his nose while he's driving and he's got this habit of tossing his socks in the general direction of the hamper but never actually gets them in and this has lead to giant, screaming WWIII fights in your house where he tells you you're just like your mother and you say better yours than his and he storms out and you make him sleep on the couch. And your precious bundle of joy? She's asking, loudly, "Why is that man so FAT?" (true story. I was 3. My mom was mortified. My grandfather found it hilarious). He refuses to eat anything of nutritional value and when you finally draw the line in the sand and say he has to eat the freaking apple, and he's not getting up from the table until he does, and he's not eating anything else until the apple is gone, it is an 8-hour hysterical drama-fest as you try to assert your will over his.

Of course, it looks nothing like that.

But that's not the stuff you share on your blog. No, blogs are all bright and shiny.

I am not interested in bright and shiny, blogosphere. I know it sounds strange, coming from a self-professed lover of happy endings, but here's the thing: I like my happy endings in books in movies, because real life rarely has happy endings. In real life, I like, well, real life. I don't want to feel like you're lying to me about everything. I like hearing about days like this because it makes me feel like less of a failure, because if I had a dog, I could totally see that happening to me. In fact, during the dogsitting week from hell, they ate some down pillows and barfed up feathers all over the house. It's the same, right?

So, blogosphere, let's all dispense with the facade. Let's be honest with each other. But be funny about it. Or at least darkly witty. No one wants to read whiny posts by angsty teenagers.

No comments:

Post a Comment