In Sickness and In Health

So many people take the “In Sickness and In Health” portion of their wedding vows for granted. It’s a thing that you say, but not everyone really thinks about what it means, how it can shape your whole life.

They think that they’ll mostly be healthy and that vow will really only mean wiping up puke a couple of times, nuking a couple cans of soup, picking up a few tissues.

But it’s not just that. And it’s not just the health of your partner that you need to think about. It’s your kids, and their kids, and their family, and your family, and your friends, and their friends. You’d be surprised at how many other peoples’ well-being can affect your relationship. You’d be surprised at the things you wouldn’t think you’d have to sacrifice when you’re up there, repeating those vows, full of tears and hope.

“In Sickness and In Health” means that you hold your wife when she collapses from the grief of her latest miscarriage. It means enduring months and months of invasive and uncomfortable and expensive fertility treatments in the hope that you can one day hold the baby you’ve been dreaming of for years. It means that you have to do all of the grocery shopping and all of the cooking and all of the cleaning when she has to be on bedrest or she and your baby might die.

“In Sickness and In Health” means that you spend your 26^th wedding anniversary in a hospital waiting room while your wife’s nephew has half his clavicle and his entire left arm amputated in a vain attempt to stop his cancer from spreading.

“In Sickness and In Health” means driving your mother-in-law to colonoscopy appointments and sitting with her while the anesthesia wears off.

“In Sickness and In Health” means that you spend hours helping your girlfriend download music for her friend who is on bedrest so that she can send a care package.

“In Sickness and In Health” means watching your wife’s witty, kind, jovial father turn into a shell of his former self as he wastes away from Alzheimer’s. It means watching your husband’s sweet, funny, spirited grandmother do the same.

“In Sickness and In Health” means having to protect your wife from her mentally ill mother.

“In Sickness and In Health” means you sit with your father-in-law as his cancer slowly steals him away and listen to the war stories he never told anyone else.

“In Sickness and In Health” means taking a friend’s infant twins for a week so she can say goodbye and bury her mother.

“In Sickness and In Health” means letting your new husband’s cousin and his mother have a mother/son dance at your wedding, because he’s dying and they won’t get to have one of their own.

"In Sickness and In Health" means taking in your wife's cousins' kids because the cousin has a drug problem and can't care for them. 

Your vows and your marriage and the choices and the sacrifices you make are about you and your spouse, but they're about so much more than you and your spouse, and the ripples can be so large. When the storms of life are raging, hold tight to one another, hold tight to the vows you made, and remember that they're big, but your love is bigger. 

Aveeno Positively Radiant tone corrector

Hey readers!

It's been a long time, I know.

I got in a dark place when I was unemployed and didn't want to write, and then I got a new job and have been fairly busy, so.....

ANYWAY! I got an Influenster VoxBox this month! Whoo!

I got a complimentary sample of Aveeno's Positively Radiant Targeted Tone Corrector and I think I like it. It helps to fade red/dark spots from my breakouts (the fact that I'm 25 and simultaneously getting pimples AND wrinkles is incredibly disappointing and unfair) and doesn't aggravate my INCREDIBLY sensitive skin.

It does promise to brighten your skin tone and make you seem more "radiant" but I haven't really noticed any of that.

Overall, though, I think it's worth trying out! Aveeno products in general are really good to your skin, and are definitely more affordable than department store brands.

#RadiantWithAveeno

What there is

Readers, I feel really defeated.

Being un/underemployed is really, really hard. And there are no lights at the end of this tunnel, there are only unreturned emails and phone calls the occasional interview that comes to naught. 

What there is, is students who fall asleep while you're tutoring them. Students who fall asleep in the middle of a 1-1 conversation that is certainly not for my benefit. I know what operant conditioning is, thank you, and I have no use for a refresher. What there is is students who curse at you and bemoan your existence in their lives at every opportunity until you finally snap and tell them to quit bitching and do their shit, which lands you in a meeting with your supervisor about "appropriate ways to interact with students". 

What there is, is a lot of crying and staring at your ever-shrinking checking account balance and wondering how you're going to make your student loan payments that start in 54 days.

What there is, is hopes that are dashed and dreams that have come crashing down and the prospect of having worked incredibly hard for 6 years to get a Bachelor's and a Master's degree only to move back in with your parents and face a lifetime of working retail. What there is, is optimism that is crushed every time someone says "we decided to go with someone else." What there is, is a lot of humiliation, embarrassment, and shame every time you have to tell the people who you had pulling for your interview that once again you didn't get it. 

What there is, is a lot of crying and yelling at your boyfriend and your family and your friends about how they don't understand how incredibly awful it feels to see no upside. What there is, is them telling you "at least you don't have other mouths to feed, or a mortgage to worry about," as if somehow being childless and functionally homeless (without the beneficence of The Boy/my parents if it comes down to that) is something that makes me happy.* I understand that my circumstances could be more dire, but this is pretty fucking dire for me. 

What there is, is a lot of people telling you to "enjoy this time because you'll have the rest of your life to work" as if all you ever really wanted to do with your life is to watch daytime television and feel completely worthless and useless because you can't bring yourself to wash last nights dinner dishes because, really, what's the fucking point? 

What there is, is a lot of showering because you're afraid to let yourself become someone who doesn't shower, not because you actually think there is a point to showering when all you do is wake up to go to sleep again. 

What there is is a lot of wondering how none of your friends are in this position and wondering what is wrong with you and what you're doing wrong, because it can't be possible that you can't think of anyone else who had to wait this long for a job after graduation, and if everyone else can make it work, why can't you? 

*I saw a thing on Pinterest the other day saying "Saying someone can't be unhappy because someone might have it worse is like saying that someone can't be happy because someone might have it better." 

The Mary Kay Look--MK Glam Vox Box from Influenster

Hey y'all:

So back when I was going crazy signing up for beauty boxes I also signed up for Influenster, which sends you free stuff to review based on your social media activity and activity on their websites. Since I am (relatively) lazy about those things, I got my first box recently.

It was stuff from Mary Kay, which is a brand that I don't currently use, and after sampling several products, don't think I will use in the future. I just wasn't into any of their stuff.

Things I got to try:

Lash Love Lengthening Mascara: 0 out of 5 Stars
I really, really disliked this mascara. Even after using their primer (which I will review in a minute), and applying several coats, it didn't look like I was wearing any mascara at all. It seriously felt like I was applying water to my eyelashes. No extra length or volume whatsoever. I realize it was free, but seriously, not worth the effort.

Lash Primer: 3 out of 5 Stars
This stuff is ok. It goes on white and dries clear. It does help with volumizing when not paired with MK mascara (I've been using my normal Clinique stuff) and, when I am not too lazy to curl my lashes, helps them hold the curl better. I use it mostly when I have a special occasion or if it happens to be on the top of my makeup bag and I'm not in a rush. It doesn't provide enough benefit for me to add ANOTHER step/type of primer to my everyday beauty routine. The Boy already gives me enough grief about how long it takes me to get ready in the mornings.

True Dimensions Lipstick in Pink Cherie: 2.5 out of 5 Stars
This lipstick is also just OK. The formula isn't bad, and if I hadn't wiped it off immediately because I hated the color on me, I think it would have been fairly long lasting (the 30 seconds I had it on seemed to be enough to stain my lips). However, I don't really wear pink lipsticks, I usually stick to more natural or nude colors, 1) because I like to try to keep my look fairly natural and 2) I think garish lipstick is for 8-year-olds and hookers. Had I gotten it in Sienne Brulee or Natural Beaute, I probably would have given it a higher score.

Cream Eye Color in Violet Storm: 2.5 out of 5 Stars
I normally shy away from cream eyeshadows because they tend to crease and I tend to be allergic to them anyway. I wasn't allergic to this formula (which was shocking), and it didn't crease, but that's probably because I went over it with some powder shadow from my everyday palette because Violet Storm made me look exhausted. I normally don't have that problem with purple eyeshadows and was kind of disappointed that this color was bad on me. In fact, before trying it out, this was the item I was most excited about in the box, since when I switched to the Naked palette I pretty much never wear purple shadows any more and I like the way they bring out the green in my eyes. Oh well.

Cream Eye Color/Concealer Brush:  3.5 out of 5 Stars
I'm really glad that they gave me a brush to use with the cream eyeshadow, because I normally use my fingers for cream shadows and that tends to get a little messy, and I always end up with shadow under my nails. The brush performed relatively well, but wasn't as precise as I would have liked it to be, but I was generally satisfied with it, and if I end up using the cream shadow with a powder coverup again, I'll definitely use this brush. I'll probably just end up washing it out and using it for concealer on days when I'm not too lazy to use concealer.

Overall, I wasn't super pleased with MK as a brand, even if I do wish I could drive a pink Cadillac. Maybe the next box will be better!


Disclaimer:I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes.

Misadventures in Unemployment

So it's been approximately forever since I've posted, but I was busy for while, and then I was home and unemployed and couldn't bring myself to blog about how pathetic it feels to watch Netflix all day.

Anyway, post-thesis to my birthday was pretty awesome. There was Beach Week, Graduation, a cruise, The Boy's Brother's Wedding (I shall call them "The Golden Boy" and "Little Miss Perfect", because, well, they are. You'd have to meet them. Also, those names may seem snarky, but really it's just a statement of fact. Really.), a trip home, and then back to current city to pack up The Boy because he gave up his apartment and came to crash with me. We're now in his hometown, having gone up to DC for the Fourth again. This year was a little lower-key, but we still had a great time. I played the best game of cornhole of my life, but The Boy's college roommate, who was my opponent, kept matching me and therefore I wasn't actually scoring points. So tragic.

Anyway, I've been applying to jobs and not hearing anything, and it's really upsetting. If it doesn't turn around soon, I worry that I may become full-on depressed, y'all. We leave for our new adventure in like 22 days.

In the meantime, I have a meeting with a friend of The Boy's family who is a career consultant, and then I will be heading back to my apartment to pack and clean and get ready for the move. Oy.

I need mo' skillz

So, with 50 days left until I have to turn in the final version of my thesis, I've started doing things like looking for jobs. And by "started" I mean, I sorta looked at the website of the school that The Boy is going to, realized I have no actual usable skills beyond answering phones and using Qualtrics, decided to put my computer away, and watched Smash.

The Boy has accepted his offer to a large Southern university. Quality of life should be good, because there are a lot of bars and restaurants and music and supposedly fun things to do, I'm told. I haven't actually been there yet. We're planning to go look for apartments (separate apartments, Mom and Dad) after Memorial Day. We will be too busy before graduation, and after graduation we're (or maybe just me, depending on what happens) are going on vacation with my parents (with a possible stop at his parents'), and then he has his brother's bachelor party to get to.

I seriously need ideas of things to do, because being a master of psychology is actually like the second least-useful degree ever (after possibly art history or something), because at least with an underwater basketweaving degree, you have shit you can sell. No one wants to buy psychology (outside of graduate school), at least not the way I know how/am qualified to do it.

I don't want to do any more school for at least a year. Probably more. Probably none ever, except maybe a class here or there on a foreign language or photography or some sort of other artistic medium or something.

I know before I was all like "I can do ANYTHING! I'm smart and I have skillz and people LOVE me!" But I realize now that I was foolish. I know nothing about business, or sales, or any of that shit, and frankly, answering phones just doesn't pay enough. And, also, honestly, all of those things sound like the worst thing ever.

Anyway, I should be doing the writing I actually have to get done now. So blogland, I need ideas of geographically-restricted jobs that pay a lot of money and don't make me hate myself and my terrible life choices. Pretty please?

Moving Forward

So I have 74 days until I need to turn in the final, edited, defended version of my thesis in order to graduate on time.

I think this is possible. IRB approval might prove to be a bit of a challenge, but data collection should go rather quickly, and there is no reason why I can't graduate on time.

I haven't gotten any acceptances from graduate schools yet, and I'm not really anticipating any. I think the "Dear God, please don't pick me, I don't actually want this" came through at my interviews and I wouldn't take someone with that attitude either.

I've decided that what I want over the next few years is simple.
-I want to be doing something that I like enough to not be counting down the days until it's over (that was poor writing, but I think you follow me).
-I want to be making enough money that I can pay off my loans from this program in <5 years, save up for down payment on a house in 1-2 years (unless we end up in CA, in which case, eff that), that even on top of those things, I can go out or buy things when I want to without worrying about it.
-I want a job that I can leave in the evening and not worry about until I go in again in the morning.
-I want a house that I can make my own that feels like it's my home. I don't like this temporary feeling that I have here--it feels like an extended hotel stay.
-I want to throw a lot of money into an IRA.
-I want to do interesting things again. I've gotten really boring while I've been here.
-I want to audition to do a few commercials. I think it would be fun and a good way to get my acting fix and make some extra money.
-I want to be better about cooking regularly.
-I want to position myself such that if I decide to go back and get my PhD, it won't be impossible.
-I want to learn something new--a new language, or an instrument, or Japanese flower arranging, or how to properly use Photoshop--basically something that isn't related to psychology.
-I want to be in a place and surrounded by people who bring out the best in me, instead of the worst.
-I want to find some sort of exercise that I enjoy doing (swimming? affordable yoga? hiking?)

Anyway, I know that we shouldn't spend a lot of time "waiting for life to start", but that's really what I feel like I'm doing right now. I'd like to get out of my lease and just move to where I'll be sometime in June or July, but I might not even go until August, which means that for the next 2-4 months, that's precisely what I'll be doing.

Conferencing and Interviewing

I'm sitting at the airport waiting for my flight to the large conference I'm going to this weekend. I'm excited because I get to see all my peeps from back home, and let me tell you, they are a riot. (Also, conference gods, the Universe, God* , and whomever else may be listening: there will be none of the shit that we had at last year's conference. I can't handle that again. Are we clear?) It's in a cool city that I've never been to before, and there are adventures to be had. On that note, from the end of December to the end of January, I will have been in 7 cities in 4 states. Holy frequent flier miles, Batman! (except non-revers don't get frequent flier miles. And a lot of that travel involved driving). I'm gonna present a poster, and I'm pretty sure that it'll be my last one. I've done like 7 posters, and I think it's time to start trying for talks. If I get in. 

The Boy and I have been flooded with interviews. And when I say "The Boy and I", mostly I mean The Boy. He has 4 (FOUR!) in-person interviews. I have 2. Unfortunately, even though 3 of these interviews (2 of his and 1 of mine) are at places we both applied to, none of our interviews overlap at all. That is stressing me out. There are still chances that we will each hear from the schools that the other already has an interview to, because we're applying to different disciplines, but it isn't looking good at this point. That leaves 7 overlapping schools, including my undergrad, which would be ideal. If we both get in there and I manage to convince his parents to move out there (which his dad might be amenable to), I would be so, so happy.

Superman already had one and should be hearing from other programs in the next couple of weeks. Roommate has 3 (maybe 4?--including one that puts her in direct competition with the boy), another girl in our program has at least 1, and I'm sure the other person from our class who applied will definitely get a few interviews as well (I haven't talked to him since we left for winter break). We're pretty successful.

Anyway, even though people keep telling me things will get less stressful, I'm not seeing it. Between interviews, the like 5 studies I have to work on for my RAship (we're running out of time!) and my thesis, I don't think this semester is going to slow down at all. Oh well.


*Mom, chill out about the order. I'm not be sacrilegious, I'm clearly being facetious.

Evaluating the last year

Since it's now the new year, I figured it was about time to evaluate these things (and because I'm procrastinating HARD on things I really need to get done), here is 2012 in review:

 New Year's Resolutions

1. Lose 15 pounds by my friends' wedding (May 18th). I'm MOH, and I refuse to feel like I look chubby in the pictures (or, worse, actually be chubby). Plus, I'm creeping up towards the heaviest I've been and I don't like it. It is also probably good for me to exercise and eat better, considering how often people (ok, mostly the Boy and our mutual friend at school)say to me, "I can't believe the things you put in your body." I will be using this app to help me. It's amazing, it's free, and it is basically one of the best apps I've ever seen. If you're trying to lose weight, I highly recommend it. You put in your starting weight, your goal weight, and then it gives you different recommendations on calorie limits depending on how fast you want to lose it, you can scan the bar codes on your food, it has full restaurant menus, and it tracks your exercise and progress. It's brilliant. 

This one was semi-successful. I lost about half of that, so I'm still 8-10 pounds above where I'd like to be, but I'm no longer worried about how heavy I'm getting. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for not getting morbidly obese in the last semester, because it's been incredibly stressful and I've been eating out for pretty much every meal. I also stopped exercising at all in October, because I noticed that excess movement made whatever is wrong with my stomach hurt worse. I wasn't too happy about that one because I feel kinda sluggish and gross being so purposefully sedentary all the time, but I don't know what else to do until they figure out what's wrong. They say it's IBS, but I don't believe them. I don't know anyone who has ever gone to the hospital over IBS, and the medicine they give me to help with it doesn't actually make the pain go away.

2. Go to bed by midnight ~5 nights per week. This should help with the weight loss (getting enough sleep makes people eat less). Plus, getting enough sleep should make me healthier, happier, and less stressed overall. 

HAHAHAHAHAHHA yeah, no this one did not happen.

3. Go/do/try at least 1 new thing per month. This month was Zumba with the bride from the aforementioned wedding. We burned 700 calories in an hour. I'm exhausted. My arms feel like they're going to fall off. I want at least one month to involve going to a city/state?/country? that I have never been to before. Considering I live in an entirely new area now, this should not be an issue, but you know how New Year's Resolutions go.

I don't know that I was 100% successful on this one, but I was pretty close. In the last year, I've met The Boy's family (which went way better than I expected), I went to DC (twice!), I learned how to shoot, I wrote an article for Wikipedia (and because of the semi-anonymity of this blog, I won't tell you which one), I threw/attended my first Bachelorette party, had Bestie visit me (twice!), went to Myrtle Beach, finished my first year of grad school and started my second, was in a wedding, had a really great birthday, applied to PhD programs (again...), went to NYC, switched advisors, went to Savannah and Gainesville, had a health scare, found a new restaurant that I love, made new friends with the first years, and probably 100 other things I can't even think of right now. This year was really fun, and despite the fact that there were some shitty times, I think that I'll look back on 2012 as a year of growth and accomplishment.

 4. Better time management. I want to schedule work out time at least 3 days per week and finish my work by 8 PM every night. I'm going to use this app to track my time. I think my plan is to get up around 8, exercise for 30-60 minutes, come back, get ready, catch the 10 or 10:30 shuttle, start work by 11, and finish by 7 or 8. If I am going to do a group exercise class like zumba or yoga, I will go into school earlier and finish up for the day in time to go to the class. I will work/work out on the weekends as necessary.

 Yeah, this one didn't really happen either. I think I did better in the spring, but this semester was hellish and there were a lot of 12 hour days and not enough sleep and no exercise whatsoever.

5. Recognize when it is time to say "Fuckit" and actually say it. I really need to dial back the crazyeyes. It scares other people, it isn't good for me, it doesn't improve my performance, and frankly, I'm tired of being the craziest person in the class.

This one was and wasn't successful... I did learn a lot about what I could and could not tolerate, and I made some changes, but there were definitely plenty of crazyeyes moments this past year, including one major panic attack that really lasted like a week and a half.

6. Read at least 1 fiction book per month. The roommate has me reading these books now, and the Boy (he needs a nickname, Bestie) is insisting that I read these books immediately so we can go see the movie. I'm mildly concerned about the rape scene. In general, I really hate reading/seeing people who are just cruel to one another, but rape/abuse scenes are especially hard to stomach. Anyway, I digress. I plan to read fiction books this year, because it's good for me to unwind and gives me something to look forward to.

I did pretty well at this one. I did spend like 6 months reading the 4th Game of Thrones book because it was God-awful, but the others were all fantastic. I also read all of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books, Dune, Lamb, Ender's Game, Learning to be Good, and I think a couple of others. It may not have been one book per month, but some of those books were monstrous. I'm counting this one as a win.


Anyway, here is to a year full of love, laughter, growth, and joy. I'm going to get rid of some of the bad stuff and integrate more of the good stuff and hope for the best. I hope all of you make the best out of it, too. I think I did ok at that. How was your year? Did you do everything you wanted to?

I don't have time for this....

But it's been 12 hours of working and I need a break.

When I run the world:
-You will not have to submit an official copy of anything to any graduate program until they officially want you. ETS and their $25/copy of the GRE is bullshit. Absolute bullshit.
-All applications for anything, ever, will be housed on one website. You will fill that shit out once, and send it to whomever you want--college, grad school, jobs, potential dates, whoever. All in one place.
-No one will be allowed to charge for transcripts (Undergrad Institution, with your $15/transcript fee, I'm talking to you)
          -People who want 2 transcripts are horrible, horrible people. I am poor, and you want me to spend an ADDITIONAL $30 to send you my transcripts on top of your $125 app fee?
-No one can reasonably expect you to write a 20-page paper that is going in the trash in 2 weeks when you have 8 million other more important things to do.
-WiFi will always be lightning fast and free.
-There will be student discounts on everything ever.
-Doctors who are specialists who can't diagnose your pain can't just say "not my problem" (in not so many words) and just send you on your way for another million tests.


There are other things, but that's all I can think of for the moment.

Updating

So I have a minute while I wait for The Boy to come pick me up and rescue me from the war zone that is the Roommate watching the Steelers game. That chick is crazy about the Steelers.

Anyway, I've been having some health issues for the last 4-6 weeks (I've forgotten when it started)), and so that's been fun. I have undiagnosed abdominal pain that comes and goes seemingly at random, for which my only cure thus far is Vicodin. (Hence why The Boy is coming to get me--I'm not exactly fit to drive at the moment).

School is insane at the moment. Between the 20 page neuro paper, the 10 page self-reg paper, the 20 page prospectus, and applications (not to mention the 15 hours per week I'm supposed to put in for my RAship, actually going to class, lab meetings, and little things like sleeping and eating), I don't understand how I'm going to get through until Christmas. Needless to say, if I don't finish my Christmas shopping on Black Friday, it's not getting done til Christmas Eve. If it gets done.

Although, because I have an incredibly supportive and sympathetic new advisor (old advisor being on sabbatical was just not working out), I did score us a two-week extension on our self-reg paper, so that was nice.

I miss my family and I can't wait until I get to go home for Thanksgiving. Just one more week! It'll be so nice, since I haven't been home in just shy of 6 months.

I wish Bestie would come home for Thanksgiving. Korea is too far away.

My subscription boxes have been kinda nice, but mostly disappointing, and I don't have time to blog about stuff I'm not super ecstatic about at the moment, so I let that go.

Anyway, that's all for now. Have a good day, folks, and remember to be thankful.

Things I'm Learning

This last weekend has been, shall we say... eventful. There was some shit with someone in a position of authority, and there was a panic attack, and there is still a lot of freaking out and wanting to go home going on.

But!

I am choosing to try to focus on the positives. And I'm learning things now, about what kind of person I am/want to be, the kind of person I do not want to become, and the kind of people I have surrounding me.

Positives:
1) Calling Mom always helps.
2) Hearing about Brother's ridiculousness also always helps.
3) Even if I don't believe him when he's telling me, I trust The Boy when he tells me everything is going to be ok. And I appreciate him for dropping everything to just be there for me when I need him.
4) The Boy and Superman are awesome, awesome friends, and I seriously could not have gotten through this weekend without them. They blew off a hike that they had been looking forward to to help me with my stuff, and didn't get mad or defensive when I displaced some anger/frustration/panic/general unpleasantness on them. When I tried to protest the cancelling of their plans, Superman turned to me and said "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to [The Boy]. Now be quiet and let the men speak." They take really good care of me, and I can't appreciate them enough.
5) I get to look forward to having dinner with The Boy's parents tomorrow and Superman's mom next weekend. Not quite as awesome as it would be to have dinner with my parents, but a close second. It's nice to have parents around, and it helps me feel less homesick.
6) No matter how bad this gets, it won't be the end of the world. Things will go on, I will find something else to be successful at, and the people who love me will still love me. I asked, they promised.
7) Skyping with Bestie is awesome, even when the internet connection sucks. I am so proud of how brave she is.

So anyway, I have a lot of shit to continue to take care of now, so I should get back to it. Remember to be mindful of the way you treat people and be mindful of the way you allow others to treat you. Focus on the positive, and cultivate a strong support system. Do your best, because that's really all you can do.

The Center of the Universe

Last month, The Boy and I went to NYC for his brother's engagement party.

It was pretty cool.

The Boy's brother works for some sort of real estate hedge fund thing (I'm still not sure what he does, exactly, but it involves buying malls and office buildings and stuff), and his fiance is a lawyer. They have this really cute apartment (with an actual bedroom with a door that closes!) in the West Village (which is not the same thing as being on the West side of Greenwich Village) and lead such fabulous (albeit, busy) lives and I must admit I was more than a little jealous/insecure hanging out with them and their friends. They have such cute clothes and do such glamorous things and eat at such wonderful restaurants and, well, I am poor and live in the city (town?) that I live in, and let me just say, it isn't glamorous, even a little bit.

While we were there, we stayed in SoHo (it means South of Houston St, which I had never known before), which meant we did a lot of shopping  looking at things that we couldn't afford, like the cute D&G cocktail dress I found at some sort of Last Chance store for $300, or the Italian shirt the boy tried on for $100. It was nice, don't get me wrong, but it was a button down. Not exactly worth it, in my opinion, but it was fun to browse, minus the parts where I was dismayed at how poor I'm going to be for years and years to come. I told my dad this, and he was like, "No, that's like thinking you're fat when you're pregnant. You're not fat when you're pregnant, you're just pregnant! And you're not poor now, you're just a student!" I don't think he's quite right there, but whatevs.

We went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art where we saw some pretty cool stuff. The boy and I quite enjoy going to museums. It makes us feel cultured. There is one downside... he really likes modern art and I really, really hate it. I think it's really ugly, and have some sort of visceral, disgusted reaction to the celebration of random squiggles. I was able to convince him that we could go to MoMA on a different trip to NYC... unfortunately, I'm pretty sure he's going to hold me to it. After the museum we wandered through Central Park (it's huge!) and I was disappointed to learn that Central Perk is not a real place.

We also ate some amazing, amazing food. The night we got in, we went to this Italian place that was near their apartment, and everything was SOOOOOOOO good. So delicious. Like heaven in my mouth. We also got the requisite bagels (delicious) and pizza (delicious), and the best tacos I've had in America from this taco truck. I really wish I could remember the name--I think it was "[Some Neighborhood (I think it was the one South of SoHo)] Taco Truck. Super delicious. We also ate breakfast across the street from our hotel in a very Seinfeld-esque diner that was fast, cheap, and also, pretty delicious.

We also got to see a show off-Broadway, which was pretty exciting. We went to a discount box office called TKTS, which sells tickets to Broadway and off-Broadway shows for 30-70% off face value. We had several options, but the available Broadway shows were all things we were unfamiliar with, and since tickets were $90-100 a piece (that's half off!) we decided to see Newsical, which we were told was "Fucking Hilarious" and "a million times better than Avenue Q" (which was the off-Broadway show that we were planning on picking if the Broadway stuff didn't work out). One of the reviews said it was basically The Daily Show set to music, which it was. It was pretty funny, but not "fucking hilarious" or "a million times funnier than Avenue Q". I still enjoyed myself, though. Next time we go, we'll need to see a show on Broadway, though.

It was a really great trip, and I'm glad we went. I really like the amount of traveling that The Boy and I get to do together. It's nice to make all these memories and have all of these adventures.

Advice to New Grad Students

Grad school is harder than anything you've done before. People say this, and you'll think "how hard could it be? I was so good in undergrad. I never even had to do the reading, I just Knew Things!", and I'm telling you, it's not the same. It's very very different. You will cry in your office, or in the lounge, or in your advisor's office, or in your room, alone (or, more than likely, all of the above places). You won't understand things that you thought you KNEW. It'll be ok, I promise.

Grad school isn't very structured. You'll have to figure your own shit out, and it's going to take longer than you think it will. Everything will take more time than you think it will. Readings will be longer and more complicated. You will fuck up some minor step in your data analysis or cleaning and have to redo the whole thing, probably five times. You will be given enough rope to hang yourself with, and it will be easier than you think to get your priorities out of order and not be able to do everything you're supposed to do, because sometimes it seems like you have forever to do things. There is a reason you have so long--it takes a REALLY long time. You will eventually get things done, because that's just what happens, but you really don't want to be that one person in your cohort who is always the late one. Don't be that person.

Befriend your cohort. Seriously. You are probably far from home and people you know, and you are not going to be able to get through your program without making some good friends. Have 1-2 people who are your new besties, people who you are with more often than not (e.g. The Boy and Superman). Have a girlfriend or two to go shopping with, or to go to brunch with, or who will go see the new chick flick with you when the boys don't want to. Start a regular department happy hour once a week where you can go and laugh about how crazy your professors are. Go to the parties. Even if you have a significant other. Especially if you have a significant other, because, chances are, if you do, you will want to be a hermit and stay with them or Skype with them, and you'll burn out because you have no support system where you are. That being said, try to find a few friends outside your cohort (and even though I'm breaking my own rule), don't date someone in your cohort. You have to spend so much time with these people, sometimes it's nice to just get away from them.

If you don't like who you were before, now is a really good time to reinvent yourself. More than likely, you are far from all you know and love, and like (most) undergrad experiences, this gives you the chance to try new things and become someone you like better. Develop new habits, learn new (non-grad-school-related) things. Find new favorite places. Become friends with someone who you don't think you have anything in common with.

There is always something you COULD be doing and almost always something you SHOULD be doing. You'll need to just have to let that go sometimes, and just watch TV or bake or drink or blog or scrapbook or go on a date or just take a nap. It'll be ok. You can't let the guilt of relaxing ruin your relaxing.

Remember why you decided to come to grad school. Remember that you love what you're doing, because there will be a lot of days that you don't love it. Remember your bigger goals and the things you wanted before you wanted to go to grad school. Know when it's worth it to make a sacrifice and when it isn't. Enjoy learning. Enjoy teaching. Enjoy creating new knowledge. 

August Birchbox!

My August Birchbox came while I was in NY (after a few shipping delays--they said it shipped on like the 4th or the 6th, I didn't get it until 2 weeks later, which was much longer than the Glam Bag that shipped using the same method 2 days later and arrived about a week earlier)

Included:

Viva la Juicy La Fleur ($70)
 This stuff is supposed to be a softer, more floral version of Viva La Juicy, but seeing as how I've never smelled that, I can't attest. I like the scent right at first, but as Bestie said in her review, after a little while, it begins to smell like baby prostitute. I've worn it around The Boy, but he hasn't commented, which doesn't mean he doesn't like it, but doesn't mean he's very fond of it either. He normally comments if he thinks I smell good.
**1/2 out of 5 stars

Miss Jessie's Original Stretch Silkening Creme ($22)
This stuff is supposed to help loosen and relax tight curls. Unfortunately, my hair is only kinda wavy, so this does the exact opposite of what I would want curl cream to do. I didn't try it, I just gave it to my African-American roommate. I was pretty bummed, too, because when I was looking at the things that could be sent out this month, I really wanted basically any of the other Miss Jessie's products, as they would have been more my style.
No stars from me since I can't actually use it. 

Pixi Beauty Lip and Line ($18) 
This dual-ended lip liner and lipstick is great. I really like that it matches perfectly and that it's subtle--it gives my pale, pale face some color without screaming HEY! I'M WEARING LIPSTICK!!! It doesn't kiss off, it isn't drying or flaky, and it seems to last a while (although not all day like the promo seems to imply). They had some on clearance at Target the other day that I wanted to buy, but it was a very, very pale shade of pink that I didn't think would be very flattering.
**** out of 5 stars


Yu-Be Moisturizing Skin Cream ($16)
Yet another "miracle" moisturizer/lotion... I used it on my feet, which are super dry/peeling from all o the walking that The Boy makes me do (my vacations consist of reading by the pool and sipping fruity drinks. His include walking for miles and miles). While it helped a little last night, they are rough and dry again in the morning--not exactly what I'd call a miracle, and not really worth $16--I'd rather just use my regular Jergen's lotion and save the $9. Plus, the tube was SUUUPER small. If you're going to send out lotions, you really need them to be at least 3 oz. It has been decided.
** 1/2 out of 5 stars


Shick Hydro 5 Razor ($10)
This is a "Birchbox Find"--something designed to make our lives simpler or better. It was a nice addition, because this is the razor I normally use, so it's always good to have a spare, especially since they're kinda pricey, and the razor paid for the box.
***** out of 5 stars

Overall, I have pretty mixed feelings about this box. I really love the razor and the lipstick, but the razor isn't really why I signed up for Birchbox, and it wasn't something new that I was getting to try. I wasn't crazy about the other 3 items... I'm hoping the next few boxes are more to my liking. 

August My Glam Bag!

My August Glam Bag came on the 13th and included 6 items + the requisite cosmetics bag.

Can I just say that I am drowning in cosmetics bags even more than I'm drowning in nail polish (which I also got from Glam Bag)? Clinique always gives me one when I get one of their "free gift with purchase" things, and now I'll be getting one every month from Glam Bag. I wish they would do more of the "clutch" type bags in the future like they've done when it's been a clubby-themed month. Although I've heard those were actually kinda crappy, so maybe not. Whatever, I can figure out uses for my 8 bajillion cosmetics bags. Maybe I'll use them to put presents in or make little "survival" kits for someone or something. I don't know.

Anyway, things I got in my bag:

Demeter "Clean Skin" Roll-On Perfume Oil: $10 for the .29 fl oz size (what we got), $39.50 for the 4 oz cologne spray. "Clean Skin is a blend of orange, lemon, white rose, bergamot peach and vanilla, making the perfect shower-fresh scent."
Umm... I'll give it a couple of days, but so far I'm not crazy about the smell. It seems a little old-ladyish to me. I might have liked the alternative better (Dragon Fruit). It also doesn't seem to last very long. I put it on 4 hours ago, and I can't even smell a hint of it now, with my wrist right up to my nose.
*out of 5

S.A.L.T.Y Cosmetics Glama-ZOID Eyeshadow: $3.95 for the sample (what we got), $14.97 for the large size (2.5g), which is a pretty dumb price hike from the 1.25g size for $4.50. You can get three of the small ones for less ($13.50) than one of the big ones... and you get 50% more product. Learn math, people.
"Glama-ZOID!, an iridescent violet pink satin has a sexy touch of light reflecting sparkle. This shadow is perfect for all skin tones and works as an amazing highlighter for brow bone and inner corners."
This stuff is good for a highlighter on nights when you'll be going out or if you need to be particularly sparkly for some reason, but it's definitely too glittery for every day use. It would have been a great addition to my fairy costume last Halloween, though.
***out of 5.

 Eclos Cellular Activator Facial Serum: $24.99 for 1.7 oz.
"This lightweight serum from Eclos helps wake up skin's self-renewal process to revitalize fatigued, stressed skin. Unique plant extracts help boost firmness and tone to smooth out fine lines and damage." 
So far, I've only used it a couple of times, but I kinda like it. It feels nice on my skin. As to whether or not it helps wrinkles, I couldn't tell you, since I've only got the one on my forehead that isn't so bad (but still makes me sad).
***1/2 out of 5

Eclos Moisture Therapy Regenerative Cream: $24.99 for 2.0 oz.
"This medium-weight moisturizer with restorative benefits helps smooth and brighten for a youthful finish."
I'm not super crazy about this stuff. It feels kinda weird and doesn't glide on that well. I wouldn't buy it, but it isn't horrible. I'll keep using it with the serum until they run out.
** out of 5.

You get free shipping on the Eclos website, but only if you order more than $25 worth of products... and their most expensive products are $24.99 each. That's pretty annoying, and kind of a scam. Increase your prices by a penny, or don't offer free shipping at that price. It's kind of a crappy thing to do to your customers. 

Circus by Andrea's Choice Nail Color in Spectacle Not yet available for sale, so no price info
"This month, I'm causing a color spectacle with the newest shades from my CIRCUS collection. Join me, your ringleader, and show the world your hottest nail looks with the newest shades of vegan, cruelty-free nail polish, Spectacle and Ringmaster, from the exclusive collection curated by me, myglam stylist, Andrea's Choice".
I do not like orange, and this is a particularly hideous shade. I know neons are in right now, but neon orange is always a bad sign. Neon orange means traffic delays and escaped cons. Neon orange means the terror alert is higher and the security line at the airport will be longer. Neon orange does not look good on me. Also, I DON'T NEED ANY MORE NAIL POLISH FOR SEVERAL MONTHS. I suppose I can try it on my toes, but it will probably get given to someone who likes orange. Or I will use it to paint something for Brother, whose favorite color is orange. I haven't tried it yet to see how it goes on/if it chips. I definitely would have preferred "Ringleader", which is a hot pink color. I love hot pink. And if my sample companies insist on sending nail polish, can I get some reds, please? I have the hardest time finding the perfect red. Or what about a really awesome base or top coat? Those are always hard to find and usually expensive, and always run out the fastest, because you use them every time you paint your nails.
No stars yet, as it is unsampled.

My Glam Lip Gloss There was no info about this in the bag or the website, and I'm assuming you can't buy it online because it's a Glam Bag exclusive.  
Pros: Smells/tastes good, the color isn't bad
Cons: Sticky, not super noticeable (meaning you have to put a lot on to notice anything other than the stickiness), the color is just ok.
***out of 5. Not my favorite gloss ever, but it will probably get worked into the rotation. I like it over my Clinique Mega Melon chubby stick.

Sample Society!

My Sample Society Box and Allure Magazine came this week!

I was very excited, because my Sample Society box came at the same time as some stuff I had ordered from Sephora, so I had two packages show up on the same day. So nice.

The Sample Society Box included:

 

Deborah Lippmann Nail Lacquer, Private Dancer. I believe this is full size, and retails for $18! 

I haven't tried it yet, because I am drowning in nail polish from Julep (definitely skipping next month unless I have a free month), but I love purple, so hopefully it will turn out well. Since the box cost $15, the nail polish alone paid for the box (not that I would EVER pay $18 for nail polish, but you get the idea) 

No stars yet, since I haven't actually tried it

Elemental Herbology Moisture Milk Deluxe Sample, full size $78

I used it a couple of times, and it's nice, for moisturizer, but I wouldn't say it's any better than Clinique's Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel, which is what I currently use, and which is approximately 1/3 the price.

*** out of 5

Phyto Phytonectar Oil Deluxe Sample, full size $30

I've only used this once (it says use 1-2x weekly for 5 weeks), but I think it might have helped my terrible, terrible split ends a little bit. I'll keep using it and see what happens. Hopefully, it will help heal some of the damage I've done to my hair and help it to grow.
***1/2 out of 5

Jane Iredale Longest Lash Mascara, Black Ice Deluxe Sample, full size $33. 

I wasn't crazy about this mascara--it was pretty dry and it took about a million coats before I really noticed it. I wasn't allergic to it, so that's good, but I won't buy it, that's for sure.
** out of 5

Arcona Cranberry Toner Deluxe Sample, full size $32

I liked the smell, and it seemed to do a good job of getting the last of the dirt and makeup that washing my face had left behind (sidenote: I am always amazed and disgusted by all the crap left after washing my face. I try to do a good job and wash for a long time, but good lord, it's always really ridiculous). It did not, however, have that familiar tingly, oxidizing feeling that I like most toners to have because I feel like that is the stuff that kills the bacteria that causes breakouts. It was nice, but not great, and I won't be buying.

***1/2 out of 5

I haven't tried that Malin Goetzl bonus packet yet either.

I'll give this one another 2-3 months, but if I don't start seeing some things that are 4-5 stars, I'll cancel. There's no point in getting a bunch of samples of things that I wouldn't think about buying anyway, right? Plus, $15/month is a little steep for stuff I'm not crazy about.

***I paid for my own Sample Society Subscription and all opinions are my own

Baby Brother is all grown up

Brother's birthday is upon us, and I want to commemorate it the way I have the last several important birthdays that I have celebrated: with a list of reasons why this person is awesome. Without further ado:

1) His work ethic. He may be a little bit of a punk, but he manages to participate in several teams/extracurricular activities while holding down a job and making the honor roll (with several honors/AP classes), and is consistently one of the hardest working people at his job

2) He makes me laugh, whether it's with his God-awful impressions, his RIDICULOUS ego, or the way he taunts mom and dad, he pretty much never fails to force me to crack a smile.

3) He wants to be a special ed teacher because he wants to work with the happiest kids on campus.

4) He volunteers with younger kids who just worship him because he includes them and makes them feel important.

5) He's been working on being more communicative lately, and will call me on his way home from work just to chat.

6) When we were little, and he would get a treat, he would always ask for one for me, too.

7) He's a cute kid, and, as The Boy says, "could totally 'slay'" (the ladies) if he wanted to, but he doesn't--he treats them well and does all sorts of romantic things for the girl he is dating (well, the girls he's dated, as he's currently single) instead of being a skirt-chasing douche.

8) Sometimes, before I moved, just because he loves me, he used to bring me ice cream at work.

9) His passion. It's hard to get him into something, but once he is, he goes all out. 

10) He is as much of a big kid as I am--we like to watch Disney movies, eat junk food, and do silly things like play with sparklers and little kid toys, and we're completely unapologetic about it.

11) Terri Guillemets said that "After a girl is grown, her little brother - now her protector - seems like a big brother." Brother is super protective of me and likes to puff out his chest and look down his nose at the boys I bring around, which is really starting to actually become intimidating, because he's now 6-3 and can bench press me. 

12) They say that even if you don't speak often or you don't have a good relationship with your siblings (I do wish we spoke more, but I think we have a good relationship), it doesn't matter what is going on, you have a short hand and they just understand you in a way that almost no one else can--they know your history, and they speak your language. All I have to do is look at Brother and he knows exactly what I mean. It's a nice feeling.

13) I can't even count the number of times that people have told me what a great guy he is--it makes me proud to be his sister, because he gives us a good name. 

14) Arguably, of all of the people in my life, I've probably been bitchiest to him, but he still loves me anyway. 

15) We both have quick tempers (at least, or especially with each other), and we can have knock-down-drag-out fights, but we don't hold grudges with each other. The next day, we're back to laughing. 

16) NBD, NBD, NBD, kiipkiipkiipkiip, wooziewooziewoozie

17) He's really good at picking friends--people with integrity, loyalty, and maturity. His friends are really great people, which says a lot considering how truly awful most teenagers are. 

18) His integrity--he strives to live a Christ-like life, and he does a pretty good job. He doesn't drink or do drugs, he isn't mean, he serves, he's kind. I'm proud of him. 

Happy belated birthday, little Bro. I love you. Also, you really need to just tell me what you want for your birthday/graduation. 

July Look Bag and August Julep Box!

Although it's been cancelled, I still wanted to review the items from the July Look Bag, which I received a couple of weeks ago.

Included:

Full Size Korres Mango Butter Lipstick in Rose-- $18.00 (for full size) Apparently, some people got a full-sized lipstick in their bags--mine was not, but was still a good size. The color is ok--I like the pink tone, but the gold undertone is kinda meh.

.08 Ultraflesh Gold Standard Mascara. value = $7.88 (.27 oz. $26.00) I actually kinda like it, which is surprising because I am allergic to EVERYTHING. It makes my eyelashes look really long. but they seem a little too individualized (? I'm not sure if that's the right word, but they seem to look kind of like the eyelashes in Nightmare Before Christmas, but not that bad) I put it in my purse for quick touchups

1ml. Betsey Johnson Perfume. value = $1.53 (1oz. $45.00) - This is quite possibly the worst perfume dispenser device ever invented. I don't know why they didn't send us the little spray bottles or roll-ons like you get from Sephora and such.

.24 oz. Bremenn Research Labs Miracle Cream (for the face). value = $9.07 (1.3oz. $49.00) 

I didn't like it very much. It smelled kinda bad and didn't feel very nice. I didn't have any adverse reactions to it, but I definitely didn't think it was a "miracle". 

"An Upcoming Trend" - each month we take to the beauty trenches and see what's upcoming trends out Look Bag subscribers just have to try out.  they sent 2 small bottle of nail polish one in blue and one in purple. value = $1.00/ea. These are clearly Bon Bons, from when you were 7 and wanted to paint your nails. They go on cheap because they are cheap. That being said, if you have a 7 year old girl in your life, they're great. I do not.

Apparently, they're going to figure things out and re-launch soon, dunno if I'll re-subscribe. A lot will depend on how much I like this month's Glam Bag and Birch Box and Sample Society. 

Julep was OK this month. Like I said before, I only did it this month because I had a free one due to referrals--I think the service is way too expensive to just have. That being said, if you use the code COLOR2012, you should still be able to get your first month for a penny. It's worth trying, and if you normally spend a lot of money on nail polishes, then it's definitely good. I tried swatching, but the colors looked weird in the pictures, so none for you.

This month I did August Bombshell, which included: 

Kim, gunmetal grey metallic.

Harley, liquid silver metallic chrome.

Julep Acetone-Free Conditioning Nail Polish Remover, a professional pump-action bottle for easy, one-handed use.

I also added Melanie, pastel indigo metallic chrome as my free add-on because I'm new.  They sent Melanie separately because it was an add-on, which I didn't like, because I felt it was wasteful--they spent extra money on shipping (which is undoubtedly one of the reasons their subscription rates are so high), and they used extra packaging, which is bad for the environment. I can't imagine that they have SO MANY subscribers that it wouldn't be cheaper for them to package the add-ons with the regular boxes instead of sending 2 separate packages.
Because it was their 1-year anniversary, they included a free "tote" which was too small to be called a tote, in my opinion, but whatevs. 

So I loved the color of Kim, but it's streaky and tacky and kinda sucks to apply. 

Harly is pretty, but it's a lighter color than I really wanted and is very similar to something my mom found me on clearance for like $2. 

Melanie was ok also, but I regret it as an impulse buy a little bit, because it's just not a color I really wear. That being said, it's still pretty. 

The pump action bottle is pretty cool, which is mostly what I was excited about because I like the pumping action. That being said, I like Target brand remover better. I plan to just keep refilling my pump bottle with Target stuff. 

All-in-all, I would say these two subscription services are OK. I'm not in love with them, but I don't think they're awful either. 

**I paid for my own Look Bag and received the August Julep box for free because I referred two other people after having paid for my first box.

Bucket Listing

I know that I have repeatedly sung the praises of The Boy, but he does a really good job at making memories now. It might have taken him a few months and a little bit of instruction, but he's really gotten good at it.


For the Fourth of July, we drove up to D.C., and it was incredible. We met up with my cousin who is going to school at Georgetown and spent the day at the National Museum(s) of Art, and got to see some pretty cool pieces (Da Vinci, Monet, Van Gogh), and some pretty awful modern art that The Boy actually loved. After the museums, we got hotdogs (because it was the Fourth of July and I insisted. 'Mericuh), and then got lost trying to find his college roommate. We spent the most disgustingly hot and humid hour Of.My.Life. wandering back and forth across the National Mall trying to find the street we needed but, eventually, we did, and walked over to a bar and hung out with some of his friends. After that, we bought a couple cases of beer, which we took to a Congressional office building, where we had some ribs and the best potato salad Of.My.Life. And then.. We climbed on the roof and watched the fireworks over the Washington Memorial. It probably wasn't the best view ever (there was a little bit of roof in the way), it was definitely the most magical firework show I've ever seen.

For several years now, I've wanted to visit a lot of the major cities in the world during their big celebrations, because it combines my love of travel with my love of parties. Being in DC on the 4th was definitely on that list, and I'm super happy that I got to have such an amazing experience.

Other things on the bucket list:
-Carnival in Rio
-Oktoberfest in Germany
-Mardi Gras in New Orleans
-Holi in India
-Chinese New Year in China
-The Hot Air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque (not exactly on par with the rest of them, I know, but I <3 hot air balloons)
-Passover in Jeresalem
-Bastille Day in Paris
-The Olympics (anywhere). I'm still holding out hope that Brother will become a world-famous volleyball coach and end up coaching one of the teams, because that would be awesome.
-New Year's in Time's Square. I've heard that it's actually pretty hellish and they don't even let you pee for like 14 hours, but it's an experience, right? I'd also like to see the Thanksgiving Day Parade
-The Super Bowl. I don't really like football, and I'd miss all of the commercials, but it would still be pretty cool.
-The World Series and whatever they call the basketball finals. Samesies.

I'm sure there are several things that I'm missing, but that's the beauty of a bucket list, right? You can keep adding to it as you go on and experience new things. Any ideas?